I know that it has been almost a month since I have been able to write in here. Not that I have not had any time at all, but I have been using all the free time that I have to either relax, get with friends, or the many other things that I have been doing. We did a Yard Sale last weekend. I think that it went well. Some things sold better than others. I didn't know that I has as much as I had and so I didn't think that I would make the money that I did. Its nice to have extra money for things that are just going to sit in the garage anyways. I think that we going to try again this next weekend. I want to get some more cash and most importantly get rid of the things that we are not using.
I am all healed from the Wisdom teeth being removed. All the holes and things are gone now and so that is so much better. I didn't think that they were causing all the issues that they must have been. Still time to get some more fillings but SO much better compared to what it was like.
Other than that I have been getting things accomplished, and cleaned. I got Dallas enrolled in Pre Kindergarden 5 days a week. I can not believe this is the last free time he will have before he starts school for like ever. I hope that he learns a ton there too! I know that he will like it there. Next year Colton can even do the pre school part days. I think i need a job. I never thought that I had free time coming this soon!
Aside from all of that, I have been preparing for out rest and relaxation. Sometimes you don't realize how much work that is till you have to do it. I have been getting him some new clothes and things so he has something when he comes home. Also been planning our trip out the best that I can. Sometimes it can get to be a major downer though because you really don't get to know when they are coming for sure. You sit and you wait and wait and wait. It feels like forever. I am really anxious to be able to have him back with me though. I know that it will be a little different to start to get him back into family life just to let him leave again. I mean I don't want to ruin the whole routine that we have established, but at the same time he needs to be included as well. Its going to be hard, but the time that we have is so short, and will go by so fast that i dont care. I am so glad that he wants to spend some time in Kansas too. I know that we both want to go home and that people there want to see him too. I think that I can be a little greedy though this time around :) It sure has not been easy with him gone. I more or less want to make sure that the kids get all the time with him that they can. Since it should be our anniversary and my birthday while he is here, i think its a fine time to make time for just me and him.
I don't know how many of you all have gone through this whole r and r thing yet. I can say, without a doubt, there is only want thing that I want to accomplish in the time that he home. I want us to grow. Its been so long and it is so hard for us to keep in touch, i hope that we can start to make up for all that time. I know that no matter what we do the time will be well spent. its not about me anyways. It is all about what he wants to do. He is the one that is giving up everything for 12 months. Least he can get is 2 weeks all about him. Long as he doesnt make it a habbit when he is home for good :).
You know that I started this so that I could look back and remeber all those feelings that i was going through at this time, and so that anyone going through it could relate a little. However, It is a lot harder than i thought it would be to describe the feelings that I thought would be so easy. I just know that all I can say, is each day that passes, we are one day closer, and with that Iget more and more anxious about it all. And i know that for the two weeks that he is here, i will be able to breathe again and that in itself is a great feeling. Not that anyone should have to give up their husbands or loved ones for any amount of time little lone a year. When your options are limited you learn to love it all that much more, and the time that you get is that much more cherished. Truthfully I don't know any other way to build one awesome relationship with one extremly impressive american Hero
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Monday, July 4, 2011
July 4th 2011
Writing is not a strong point for me, but I like to do it. It helps me to let things out, and helps other understand me a little more. I have a tendency to hide behind laughter and smiles, but that's not always how I actually feel. I'm actually better at faking my feelings than I am at writing. Sometimes though, no matter how bad I want to say something, I can't find the words. I write and erase and write and erase a thousand times. I can usually make people laugh when they are hurting and I can generally do the same thing for myself. This is all something that my husband taught me.
These last 5.5 months has been rough. I have learned a lot of things about myself. Like how 5.5 months ago, a trip to the store was just that. I'd kiss the kids and be on my way. A quick trip was just that. I ran in and got out with the things that I needed sometimes in just minutes. When I had to kiss my soldier good-bye, that all went out the window. I quick trip is now normally all morning. If I go in the store and forget something, I am praying that it is nothing to important because there is no way that I plan to go back in twice. Believe me that has happened on more than one occasion, and it sucks just as much each time. As I sometimes mumble under my breathe, I sometimes forget how lucky I am.
Yeah I have to go back into the store again, and fight with the kids about how I am not buying the whole store! No matter how COOL a toy looks now, it's never that COOL three days later. In one to three months it's going to be in a dark corner forgotten about and I'll end throwing it away at some point in the near future. All of that fight and struggle seems so petty when you look at the bigger picture. At the time though its the worst thing that you have to do.
However on the 4TH of July, along with everyday, some of us forget the whole reason the world is as free as it is. We forget why people from other countries would kill to come here. We forget that no matter what go through on a day to day basis, there is always someone going through something more. We sometimes take to much time and effort worrying about ourselves, that we forget the big picture. Though I never forget what others are going through, I tend to complain about little things. Some things to me seem like the end of the world.
Today is a day to remember that your life is not as bad as it seems to be. There are soldiers that can not be home this year, and others who gave it all and will never be able to come home. I know this year is hard for me, but as I said there are others that said good-bye to their soldiers forever. Though I can not predict the future, I know that right now, I have a man who loves me, and he is a wonderful daddy and a great husband. He may not be able to be here, but I know that he would do anything to come home and have to take the kids into the store 500 times if he needs to. I know that he would do anything to come home and sleep in his bed, to eat anything he wants out of the fridge, and to deal with all those crappy things that I have to deal with and complain about a lot.
I know that he is scared there, and I know that he wants to come home. I know this because he tells me. I know that I tell him all the time in all kinds of ways, that he is a hero. No matter how many times I say something to him, he has to believe it though. He is not alone. He is not the only one missing home, and he is not the only brave person there fighting for our freedom. What he is doing is a great thing. He worries that the kids will be mad at him and resent him for leaving so long. Maybe, no one can say what those little minds think. Right now, I know that they love him and miss him. I don't know what will happen when he comes home, but when they are older they will always look up to him, and he will always be their hero. Those kids will have a daddy to be SOOOOO Proud of.
I give thanks to all of those men and women out there that are sacrificing it all to do what they do. It's not for everyone, it takes a strong brave person to do what they do. Sometimes I think that those soldiers and marines just go about their days not even realizing how important they are to their families and to all those citizens of the United States. They are all important. Those of the past and the present, and those that want to be a part of it all. Those who are giving some and those that gave it all. And for the families that stay in the back and pray for them each and every day. You are all part of something more than you know, and you are all more important than you may think. Today of all days, please thank a service member both past and present and keep those over seas in your prayers all the time. The next time something in your day goes wrong think about all that you have, and be proud. Proud to be an AMERICAN
These last 5.5 months has been rough. I have learned a lot of things about myself. Like how 5.5 months ago, a trip to the store was just that. I'd kiss the kids and be on my way. A quick trip was just that. I ran in and got out with the things that I needed sometimes in just minutes. When I had to kiss my soldier good-bye, that all went out the window. I quick trip is now normally all morning. If I go in the store and forget something, I am praying that it is nothing to important because there is no way that I plan to go back in twice. Believe me that has happened on more than one occasion, and it sucks just as much each time. As I sometimes mumble under my breathe, I sometimes forget how lucky I am.
Yeah I have to go back into the store again, and fight with the kids about how I am not buying the whole store! No matter how COOL a toy looks now, it's never that COOL three days later. In one to three months it's going to be in a dark corner forgotten about and I'll end throwing it away at some point in the near future. All of that fight and struggle seems so petty when you look at the bigger picture. At the time though its the worst thing that you have to do.
However on the 4TH of July, along with everyday, some of us forget the whole reason the world is as free as it is. We forget why people from other countries would kill to come here. We forget that no matter what go through on a day to day basis, there is always someone going through something more. We sometimes take to much time and effort worrying about ourselves, that we forget the big picture. Though I never forget what others are going through, I tend to complain about little things. Some things to me seem like the end of the world.
Today is a day to remember that your life is not as bad as it seems to be. There are soldiers that can not be home this year, and others who gave it all and will never be able to come home. I know this year is hard for me, but as I said there are others that said good-bye to their soldiers forever. Though I can not predict the future, I know that right now, I have a man who loves me, and he is a wonderful daddy and a great husband. He may not be able to be here, but I know that he would do anything to come home and have to take the kids into the store 500 times if he needs to. I know that he would do anything to come home and sleep in his bed, to eat anything he wants out of the fridge, and to deal with all those crappy things that I have to deal with and complain about a lot.
I know that he is scared there, and I know that he wants to come home. I know this because he tells me. I know that I tell him all the time in all kinds of ways, that he is a hero. No matter how many times I say something to him, he has to believe it though. He is not alone. He is not the only one missing home, and he is not the only brave person there fighting for our freedom. What he is doing is a great thing. He worries that the kids will be mad at him and resent him for leaving so long. Maybe, no one can say what those little minds think. Right now, I know that they love him and miss him. I don't know what will happen when he comes home, but when they are older they will always look up to him, and he will always be their hero. Those kids will have a daddy to be SOOOOO Proud of.
I give thanks to all of those men and women out there that are sacrificing it all to do what they do. It's not for everyone, it takes a strong brave person to do what they do. Sometimes I think that those soldiers and marines just go about their days not even realizing how important they are to their families and to all those citizens of the United States. They are all important. Those of the past and the present, and those that want to be a part of it all. Those who are giving some and those that gave it all. And for the families that stay in the back and pray for them each and every day. You are all part of something more than you know, and you are all more important than you may think. Today of all days, please thank a service member both past and present and keep those over seas in your prayers all the time. The next time something in your day goes wrong think about all that you have, and be proud. Proud to be an AMERICAN
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