Half full or half empty...?!?!?!?!

I think the below can explain more as to how I am feeling at this time.  I need the time to "just let go, and be me."  I don't want to be who I am not or was before and am not now.  Sometimes, I find myself living by others expectations of what I should be, and that will be no more.  Up till this week, I always saw my glass as half full.  Now its looking more like half empty.  I lost something somewhere in my travels, and I need to get that back.  I need to find out first, what it is I lost..... What someone took..... or what I gave away.  Whatever it is, I intend to battle with it, till I get it back.  Even I miss me.....
  For those of you who have continued you call, come by, or have me over... I am so thankful.  I know that I have not been the most fun person to be around and for that I am sorry.  I think it sucks too, your not the only one~  I know that all I do is complain lately, and I miss the giggly me..... I lost it a long time ago and it keeps slipping away.  When I get it back, it will be here to stay.
  No I am not like in a suicidal state, I will not do anything dumb, nor drastic..... So don't go drawing your own conclusions please.  I think there is a time in everyone's life when they need to stop and take a look at everything they have done, not done, wanted to do, and still want to do in their lives.  In the mist of actually living life, you sometimes have to let go of things and move on.... I need to find out what those all are.... But I will get there... I hope that when I wake up in the near future by coffee cup will again be... HALF FULL