Alright, so it was decided that this family has spent the last 5 years and well before that buying about 2 packs of cigarettes a day for myself and my husband. They are cheaper on this military post then they are in any surrounding towns. SO instead of paying 7$ a pack, we pay 7.50$ for 2 packs. Still when you break it down.... It looks something like this....
7.50 x 7 = 52.50 per week.
52.50 x 4 = 210.00 a month
210.00 x 12 = 2520.00 a year.
2520.00 x 6 years (that we have been together) =$15120.00
Yeah, I know. We could buy a small new vehicle for that price. Unfortunatly, we have nothing to show for it. I have decided that I have been doing it far to long, and it is doing nothing for me in return, besides of course killing me. I also have that little thing called AutoImmune Disease, which means I was told smoking was about the worst thing I could be doing for that.
So there you have it, some of the steps that lead me where I am 2 weeks later. I got an appointment with my Dr, got the Chantix, and prayed for the best. Here is how it works.... You can take it for 12 wks. Should you need more your dr can give you another 12 wk supply. You can smoke for the first week as it builds up in your system. Slowly within that week the dose increases in your system.
Here is a brief run down of how it worked for me. First of all some people say this stuff is so bad for you. Yes, like any other medication that you take, it has side effects. DUH...it can have strong side effects, but just be aware of them and you will be FINE!!! Days 1-3 I took 1/2 a pill once a day. There was no change in the way that I smoked, how often I smoked, or when I had an urge to smoke. Days 3-5 I took 1/2 a pill 2x a day. I was slowly noticing that I was not smoking as much at all. Days 5-7 I took 1 whole pill one time a day. This is when I saw the biggest difference. I smoked about 1-3 a day vs. the usual 15-20. Just like that. Day 7-till end of prescription is 2 pills 2x a day. I did smoke one this morning. I couldn't finish it. So all together today I had 2 half ones that makes 1. It's now 10:30, and I will admit, that I would like to have some of one. However, I got some gum instead. My advice to anyone taking it, it has been said that your DR sometimes "forgets" to inform that you need to take this with a meal and plenty of water. It is important to take any medication with water and something in your stomach, it is most important with this. The water helps you dilute the pill.... otherwise you will probably get so nauseated you will just throw up.
I am a little more irritable, I can imagine that is expected. In the end I am really happy that I tried this stuff. Quitting on my own was a total bust each time. My Dr also informed me that it's really not good for your body to just quit like that. It can be too stressful. I am a little agitated right now with it being a long time since i had the last one. I know thought that with this stuff I can actually do it, and it's not as hard as I would have thought. I am putting a lot less work into it then I would have thought. It kinda does it for you. It makes the cigarettes taste so bad, you just put it out without thinking and then with a little gum and keeping busy, your pretty much set. That is the part that has been the hardest. It has been 104-110 degrees here so there is not a whole lot to do except stay in where it is cool enough to breathe.
I am confident that I will live though.... and even thinking about quitting before made me think that I was going to die without them. I think that I will pick up healthy habit. Perhaps the gym to prepare for my move to Hawaii, but that's in another blog post!
If you are thinking about quitting, I really really would suggest you give this stuff a try... might just save your life. :) GOOOOOOOODDD LUUUUUCK
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Military vs civilians in public.
Alright, so I know that it has been forever since I was able to last update. It's been pretty crazy around here. There a few topics that I want to cover since the last time I was on here. I will split them up into different categories though so it's not so crazy. The first thing I want to talk about it our last experience with a concert here on post. On June 10, 2012 we were lucky enough to have to wonderful Chris Daughtry concert here on post. It was sponsored by the Air force, which is a HUGE advantage to having an army and air force post as your home!
Though it was for the military, they also invited people from all around. More times than not, these events are for military and their families. Basically, you have to show your Military ID to get a ticket and that's how the events work. This time it was open to the public. It was also a free event. So anyone from anywhere were allowed to come on post and join the event. This is a great way to get the public into the military world for the night and see how it goes. I am not against this, usually.
So we get there with our two little ones and chairs and get seats about 4 rows from the front. Got the kids some ear plugs and sat down to wait. There is this already drunken lady behind us at 5:00. Need I say that the concert doesn't even start till 6:00, with Daughtry's appearance not till 7:00. She was loud and obnoxious since the moment that they sat down. I kept thinking that when the music starts she may just enjoy the show and stop the insane actions she seemed to not be able to control due to her drunken state. SO, the music starts with a band from the Army and then follows with a band from the Air Force. She's still pretty much acting a fool. Since we wanted to come and enjoy the concert, we tried to let it go. Her actions and word were drawing the attention of people 5 rows in front and behind at this point.
Barely into the concert, she decides to get as close to our chairs as humanly possible, and the dumps beer on Colton's chair. Missing him, but it was the principle of the matter. So I asked her nicely to please back up by her own seats as she has just spilled beer next to my little guy. She rolled her eyes and backed up. After that she was again, leaning over the kids chairs with a beer in her hand and screaming. We let it go a little bit, because she was apparently being childish and she was not going to stop anytime soon. We got some MP's (Military Police) to kinda watch her, but with thousands of people it was pretty difficult to watch just one person. I again had to remind her about half way through to please back up into her own seat. She got pissy, and told her friends, "that's twice now, who does she think she is!" Her friends told her to back up and settle down and my husband, who I thought was going to knock her on her ass any moment, went and got an MP, again. When the police got that way, she was off getting a beer. They had just missed her.
Finally, toward the end of the concert, she was as close as she could be behind my husband. I knew he was very much going to SNAP on her at any second. I didn't want to get kicked out, just because of her, so I again turned around and said "MOVE BACK, I have asked you how many times and i'm about to let the MP's because if
how immature you are acting." This set her off. She flipped her chair and tried to get all up in my face. When she got a tap on the shoulder., there was an MP right behind her. This made her more upset, because she knew I was right there and hadn't went to get them. She tried to get all up in his face. He had another MP escort her out, and asked me what was happening. I knew he was on my side, all I had to say was a few of the things she was doing like almost spilled beer on my son, and was all up our seats and screaming. I get that this is a concert, and that we should all be cheering and having a good time, but she was just being way out of control with the whole thing.
She was quickly escorted out, and asked to not come back. The Gate guards were also informed that she was WAY drunk and to make sure she wasn't driving herself. I'm not sure if she got busted for DUI or not, nor did I care. SO the third lady that was with them was able to stay for a little while as the other two were previously removed. She came up and asked me "why did you do that, What did she do that's so bad!" I said "well she is being totally ridiculous and immature.... spilling beer on a baby is a little much!" All this lady had to say was "Yeah, at a concert!!!!" OOOOOHHHHHH I get it now, You can act like a dumb ass and be disrespectful to people when you are at a concert. HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS! Gee, if I was informed of this sooner, I would have excused her stupid actions! NOOOTTTT!!!
Let me set the record straight, this concert was for military and their families. It was opened to the public so that it had a nice outcome and a way for the military to give back to the civilians within the community. Being it's a military event, it was a family event. She kept commenting about how I had my kids there. Well, they had every right to go! They are military kids and this is a military concert. They had ear plugs and chairs and plenty of water. They were beyond alright there. If I didn't think it was safe I would have left them at home.
As the end result, it left me wondering about how it only seems to be the civilians that cause an issue like this at these events. I have nothing against civilians, guess what, I am a civilian too! I mean more like those that are not affiliated with the military but just happen to live near a post. Here is my conclusion. People who are family members of military member, or military members act half ass decent, because half of them have brought their families with to share this, and the other half know if they mess up, their ass is screwed by their higher ups the next duty day. They were taught discipline and respect, and everyone in is civilian clothes. Some commander or Brigade Commander could be sitting right behind you! Aside from that, Military spouse's reflect their husbands. We act appropriately in hopes that we do not draw attention to our husbands and their careers with how we act. (Most of them anyways) The people with no military affiliation could care less. I would have let her actions go if she was not in my families way the whole entire time. This was a Daughtry concert not a kiss concert! Act like it. Making the peace sign high above my families head while screaming "FUCK YEAH" is a little bit much.
So in the end I want to say "Thank You" to the man and his family who where sitting behind this lady, and saw the whole thing the whole concert. He is the man that went and got the MP that caught her ready to flip out on me. Which I must say, I would have enjoyed to smack her back should she have hit me... I was that mad, but not with my kids around. Once she was kicked out, him and his family stood instantly behind me to make sure no other looney came around. The wife helped me the kids a little bit while I waited for Dave to come back from letting the guards know that she was not allowed back in.
By the end of the night, we were all laughing about it, though it ruined a portion of the concert for us, we were able to make the best out of it. Next time I will not wait as long to get people like this kicked out. I mean she claimed to be the biggest fan.... but because of her actions, she wasn't able to watch the whole thing. To bad, so sad. I didn't feel a bit bad after all she had done.
Hopefully this is the only time we have to deal with this situation, and people learn to be a little more respectful at these events!
Until then..... F U stupid obnoxious drunk concert lady!
Though it was for the military, they also invited people from all around. More times than not, these events are for military and their families. Basically, you have to show your Military ID to get a ticket and that's how the events work. This time it was open to the public. It was also a free event. So anyone from anywhere were allowed to come on post and join the event. This is a great way to get the public into the military world for the night and see how it goes. I am not against this, usually.
So we get there with our two little ones and chairs and get seats about 4 rows from the front. Got the kids some ear plugs and sat down to wait. There is this already drunken lady behind us at 5:00. Need I say that the concert doesn't even start till 6:00, with Daughtry's appearance not till 7:00. She was loud and obnoxious since the moment that they sat down. I kept thinking that when the music starts she may just enjoy the show and stop the insane actions she seemed to not be able to control due to her drunken state. SO, the music starts with a band from the Army and then follows with a band from the Air Force. She's still pretty much acting a fool. Since we wanted to come and enjoy the concert, we tried to let it go. Her actions and word were drawing the attention of people 5 rows in front and behind at this point.
Barely into the concert, she decides to get as close to our chairs as humanly possible, and the dumps beer on Colton's chair. Missing him, but it was the principle of the matter. So I asked her nicely to please back up by her own seats as she has just spilled beer next to my little guy. She rolled her eyes and backed up. After that she was again, leaning over the kids chairs with a beer in her hand and screaming. We let it go a little bit, because she was apparently being childish and she was not going to stop anytime soon. We got some MP's (Military Police) to kinda watch her, but with thousands of people it was pretty difficult to watch just one person. I again had to remind her about half way through to please back up into her own seat. She got pissy, and told her friends, "that's twice now, who does she think she is!" Her friends told her to back up and settle down and my husband, who I thought was going to knock her on her ass any moment, went and got an MP, again. When the police got that way, she was off getting a beer. They had just missed her.
Finally, toward the end of the concert, she was as close as she could be behind my husband. I knew he was very much going to SNAP on her at any second. I didn't want to get kicked out, just because of her, so I again turned around and said "MOVE BACK, I have asked you how many times and i'm about to let the MP's because if
how immature you are acting." This set her off. She flipped her chair and tried to get all up in my face. When she got a tap on the shoulder., there was an MP right behind her. This made her more upset, because she knew I was right there and hadn't went to get them. She tried to get all up in his face. He had another MP escort her out, and asked me what was happening. I knew he was on my side, all I had to say was a few of the things she was doing like almost spilled beer on my son, and was all up our seats and screaming. I get that this is a concert, and that we should all be cheering and having a good time, but she was just being way out of control with the whole thing.
She was quickly escorted out, and asked to not come back. The Gate guards were also informed that she was WAY drunk and to make sure she wasn't driving herself. I'm not sure if she got busted for DUI or not, nor did I care. SO the third lady that was with them was able to stay for a little while as the other two were previously removed. She came up and asked me "why did you do that, What did she do that's so bad!" I said "well she is being totally ridiculous and immature.... spilling beer on a baby is a little much!" All this lady had to say was "Yeah, at a concert!!!!" OOOOOHHHHHH I get it now, You can act like a dumb ass and be disrespectful to people when you are at a concert. HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS! Gee, if I was informed of this sooner, I would have excused her stupid actions! NOOOTTTT!!!
Let me set the record straight, this concert was for military and their families. It was opened to the public so that it had a nice outcome and a way for the military to give back to the civilians within the community. Being it's a military event, it was a family event. She kept commenting about how I had my kids there. Well, they had every right to go! They are military kids and this is a military concert. They had ear plugs and chairs and plenty of water. They were beyond alright there. If I didn't think it was safe I would have left them at home.
As the end result, it left me wondering about how it only seems to be the civilians that cause an issue like this at these events. I have nothing against civilians, guess what, I am a civilian too! I mean more like those that are not affiliated with the military but just happen to live near a post. Here is my conclusion. People who are family members of military member, or military members act half ass decent, because half of them have brought their families with to share this, and the other half know if they mess up, their ass is screwed by their higher ups the next duty day. They were taught discipline and respect, and everyone in is civilian clothes. Some commander or Brigade Commander could be sitting right behind you! Aside from that, Military spouse's reflect their husbands. We act appropriately in hopes that we do not draw attention to our husbands and their careers with how we act. (Most of them anyways) The people with no military affiliation could care less. I would have let her actions go if she was not in my families way the whole entire time. This was a Daughtry concert not a kiss concert! Act like it. Making the peace sign high above my families head while screaming "FUCK YEAH" is a little bit much.
So in the end I want to say "Thank You" to the man and his family who where sitting behind this lady, and saw the whole thing the whole concert. He is the man that went and got the MP that caught her ready to flip out on me. Which I must say, I would have enjoyed to smack her back should she have hit me... I was that mad, but not with my kids around. Once she was kicked out, him and his family stood instantly behind me to make sure no other looney came around. The wife helped me the kids a little bit while I waited for Dave to come back from letting the guards know that she was not allowed back in.
By the end of the night, we were all laughing about it, though it ruined a portion of the concert for us, we were able to make the best out of it. Next time I will not wait as long to get people like this kicked out. I mean she claimed to be the biggest fan.... but because of her actions, she wasn't able to watch the whole thing. To bad, so sad. I didn't feel a bit bad after all she had done.
Hopefully this is the only time we have to deal with this situation, and people learn to be a little more respectful at these events!
Until then..... F U stupid obnoxious drunk concert lady!
Friday, April 20, 2012
I was asked the other day....
There is a close friend of mine that is working on a project for the Army Wives. She asked for my participation and I read into what she wanted from me. A picture of you, basic information, and ...... Advice or a quote I would share with other military wives. I have started thinking about what it is I would share with another spouse. When I think about this question, I don't freeze up, I don't draw a blank. In fact, I can't seem to find the end of the things I would share.
So I started to think about how I can cram everything into a little bit of writing. I came to the conclusion, that it will not be easy, but I will share the important things that I know, and put the rest here.
If a new spouse came to be and asked me to share with her what I know and advice, I would need to make a pot of coffee, and say this:
You have to give up a lot of yourself, and the life that you once knew is no more. You reflect your husband, so your mistakes are now his. Not everyone is cut out for this lifestyle. It is in no way an easy task to be a successful military wife. Surround yourself with your new "family." Your family back home is still and always will be your family. However, they can not come running when you and the kids are sick, or when you need help. This is what those wonderful ladies around you will help you with. Most often times, without you even asking! The army doesn't care about the plans you made for the weekend, they are going to the field and there is nothing you can do about it. Be prepared for that to happen more than one time. Rank is something that your soldier earns and wears, not you. Your rank is "wife" nothing more and nothing less. Though some people have yet to figure this out, we are all in the same situation. No one is better than the next no matter what your husband does at work. Deployments seem like the end of the world more times than not. There is no secret to get through the rough times, except to know who you can count on and stay as busy as possible. We planned things as often as we could to pass the time and days as fast as possible. Sleepover, potlucks, coffee, dinner out, movies, playdates, park days..... WINE IS YOUR BEST FRIEND (except for the people that bring you wine, there now your best friends ;) Not all days are great. Neither are all duty stations. Make the very best out of what you have, or I can promise you, you will be miserable! Eventually, after you have gotten as close as you can to your "army family", someone will be leaving. It's never good-bye... always see you later. You can't take your friends with you when you have to leave. Once again you have no say in when you leave either. You are on the military's time now. FRG's are not always what people think they will be, but I can say that I met the most people becoming a part of it than I did on my own. Try it at least once. Take time for you when the kids are sleeping. Time to relax and do something that you want to do. You can get 16 free hours of childcare a month while your soldier is deployed (I think that goes for all posts) USE IT.... ITS FREE 100%, and even if you think you don't, you not only need it, but deserve it. Macaroni and cheese is a totally acceptable dinner during deployments. The most important thing is to find your inner strength and independence. Hold your head high because you are part of an elite force of wives!
There is so much more.. I think that I could go forever. I think this might be the basics of it. That's my advice.... Just keep going is all you can do
"you don't know how strong you are, until being strong is the only option that you have"
So I started to think about how I can cram everything into a little bit of writing. I came to the conclusion, that it will not be easy, but I will share the important things that I know, and put the rest here.
If a new spouse came to be and asked me to share with her what I know and advice, I would need to make a pot of coffee, and say this:
You have to give up a lot of yourself, and the life that you once knew is no more. You reflect your husband, so your mistakes are now his. Not everyone is cut out for this lifestyle. It is in no way an easy task to be a successful military wife. Surround yourself with your new "family." Your family back home is still and always will be your family. However, they can not come running when you and the kids are sick, or when you need help. This is what those wonderful ladies around you will help you with. Most often times, without you even asking! The army doesn't care about the plans you made for the weekend, they are going to the field and there is nothing you can do about it. Be prepared for that to happen more than one time. Rank is something that your soldier earns and wears, not you. Your rank is "wife" nothing more and nothing less. Though some people have yet to figure this out, we are all in the same situation. No one is better than the next no matter what your husband does at work. Deployments seem like the end of the world more times than not. There is no secret to get through the rough times, except to know who you can count on and stay as busy as possible. We planned things as often as we could to pass the time and days as fast as possible. Sleepover, potlucks, coffee, dinner out, movies, playdates, park days..... WINE IS YOUR BEST FRIEND (except for the people that bring you wine, there now your best friends ;) Not all days are great. Neither are all duty stations. Make the very best out of what you have, or I can promise you, you will be miserable! Eventually, after you have gotten as close as you can to your "army family", someone will be leaving. It's never good-bye... always see you later. You can't take your friends with you when you have to leave. Once again you have no say in when you leave either. You are on the military's time now. FRG's are not always what people think they will be, but I can say that I met the most people becoming a part of it than I did on my own. Try it at least once. Take time for you when the kids are sleeping. Time to relax and do something that you want to do. You can get 16 free hours of childcare a month while your soldier is deployed (I think that goes for all posts) USE IT.... ITS FREE 100%, and even if you think you don't, you not only need it, but deserve it. Macaroni and cheese is a totally acceptable dinner during deployments. The most important thing is to find your inner strength and independence. Hold your head high because you are part of an elite force of wives!
There is so much more.. I think that I could go forever. I think this might be the basics of it. That's my advice.... Just keep going is all you can do
"you don't know how strong you are, until being strong is the only option that you have"
Friday, April 13, 2012
Appreciation.... or lack of
Kids these days..... what happened to them. I know I was probably no angel as a child.... in fact I know wasn't. It seems like most kids around here live up to the name "army brat" This INCLUDES my kids. They are polite, kind and well mannered when they want to be. But, there are many times that I am shocked at some of the things that come out of their mouths. Sometimes I wonder if they appreciate anything that they are given.
This is something that I should be teaching them. Where did I go wrong? Maybe to them they don't see me earning anything because I don't work other than at home. I assume they dont think they are a job in itself. Maybe it's because when the guys are gone it's so easy to give into your kids so that they will just be quiet and listen from time to time. Maybe it's because I try to compensate for their dad being gone and not having family here with them, that I feel bad.
I am in no way saying that my kids are bad kids. They just don't understand that concept of enjoying what is around you. I like to think this is a product of their culture and the way the world is today. People always want want want, and when they get what they want, they want more or better. Everything is like a worldwide competition. We complain about money, cars, jobs, people...... can you really complain if you do the same things? I am not pointing fingers, I do this too.
This is not how I want my life to be lived, or something that I want my kids to continue. So there is only one solution..... From now on this family is going to start appreciating and respecting what it has. The things in our homes, the people in our lives, the weather, and anything else. My kids are great with their manners so thats a good starting point. From today on, things in this house will be earned.
I have decided to get them each a piggy bank and when they do things they are asked to do to help out they can earn change that way. They can buy their own toys and learn the value of money that way. My kids may not know it, but the things that we have took us a long time to get, and I sometimes think that they need a better understanding of how the world really is.
I know that I also complain a lot about people and things... money, and my health.... But I am going to try and not do that anymore. We don't have to be the "army family" that people have labeled that life style to be with the :army Brats" in fact we are not going to be.
I will start to find the beauty in things rather than the ugly things. Appreciating people that appreciate me in return, taking advantage of the nice weather....
It's easy to complain when you are a military family. Complain about the clinics, the drs, the staff at places, the lack of things, the time it takes to get anything done, the deployments, the fact that you are alone to live life for a year, the way the army takes the people you got close to and moves them across the U.S, the commissary on payday, the distance between you and your family, the long hours your spouse works, blah blah blah.
There are great things that you get to experience in this life and we are going to get to those things from now on. I get to have my kids with me all the time, and watch them grow and learn and turn into little independent people. I have the chance to go to school and learn and grow myself. Nothing is greater than that really. That is true beauty.
This is something that I should be teaching them. Where did I go wrong? Maybe to them they don't see me earning anything because I don't work other than at home. I assume they dont think they are a job in itself. Maybe it's because when the guys are gone it's so easy to give into your kids so that they will just be quiet and listen from time to time. Maybe it's because I try to compensate for their dad being gone and not having family here with them, that I feel bad.
I am in no way saying that my kids are bad kids. They just don't understand that concept of enjoying what is around you. I like to think this is a product of their culture and the way the world is today. People always want want want, and when they get what they want, they want more or better. Everything is like a worldwide competition. We complain about money, cars, jobs, people...... can you really complain if you do the same things? I am not pointing fingers, I do this too.
This is not how I want my life to be lived, or something that I want my kids to continue. So there is only one solution..... From now on this family is going to start appreciating and respecting what it has. The things in our homes, the people in our lives, the weather, and anything else. My kids are great with their manners so thats a good starting point. From today on, things in this house will be earned.
I have decided to get them each a piggy bank and when they do things they are asked to do to help out they can earn change that way. They can buy their own toys and learn the value of money that way. My kids may not know it, but the things that we have took us a long time to get, and I sometimes think that they need a better understanding of how the world really is.
I know that I also complain a lot about people and things... money, and my health.... But I am going to try and not do that anymore. We don't have to be the "army family" that people have labeled that life style to be with the :army Brats" in fact we are not going to be.
I will start to find the beauty in things rather than the ugly things. Appreciating people that appreciate me in return, taking advantage of the nice weather....
It's easy to complain when you are a military family. Complain about the clinics, the drs, the staff at places, the lack of things, the time it takes to get anything done, the deployments, the fact that you are alone to live life for a year, the way the army takes the people you got close to and moves them across the U.S, the commissary on payday, the distance between you and your family, the long hours your spouse works, blah blah blah.
There are great things that you get to experience in this life and we are going to get to those things from now on. I get to have my kids with me all the time, and watch them grow and learn and turn into little independent people. I have the chance to go to school and learn and grow myself. Nothing is greater than that really. That is true beauty.
Monday, April 9, 2012
Learning another path of Army life
It has been almost 3 years since we moved here to Fort Riley, and started this roller coaster ride we call "army life." In that time, I have met some of the most amazing people, and now I call them family. They are more like family than I could have ever imagined they would be. We were very fortunate to come to this unit as much as we were really worried about Kansas, and what we would do in the boring old state. A state that was not home. The first time that we were ever away from home. To add to it, I had 2 young kids in tote. Kids I would have to learn to have more patience with, and learn to do more on my own than I did back home. In short, I had very little time to learn independence. It was a lot like going to a foreign country and not knowing anyone or anything, but you knew no matter what you had no other options.
I learned very quickly to make the best of what I had, and that was the best choice I could have made. When I started to meet people, it didn't take long before there were a number of us that hung out more times than not. They were there for me in times that I used to need family for. We all learned about each others past present and future. No one judged, we just talked and shared stories, wine and food. Birthdays, holidays, long weekends... they were all an excuse to all get together and hang out. Something that we all need from time to time.
These are ladies that know more about me than I sometimes know about myself. We made it through a deployment holding hands and standing tall. A support system for one another. Our kids have grown close and have become part of eachother's lives as well.
Now, after a deployment, field trainings, NTC, late nights at work, holidays alone, birthdays without our real families, and everything in between, we have all bonded together so tight. Without hesitation they are ladies that I call when I need help, advice or someone to listen. To know that when I need some help they will be there and expect nothing in return, except that I am there for them when they need something.
I was just thinking about how we all came so close, and never talked about the day that might take us away in the future. We never talked about where we wanted to go next. I think we all forgot that someday there would be an end. Now..... that time is coming very quickly, and I don't know what it will be like watching so many of these great people leave in a short amount of time. In the past it was day to day and there was not talk about the future PCSing that was coming. We all knew when the deployment was over that this was going to happen, but it was never as real as it is now. We are all aware that this is all part of the lifestyle, but I don't think that this will ever get any easier no matter how long we are in the army.
I feel like we are on the countdown now. Something I have never had to do before. I feel like there is now an end, and this summer will be like no other that I have ever had before. It will be hard. These will still always be my first "army ladies" and the ones that taught me all that I know now. I hope that we remain close. It won't be the same though. There not up the road when we want to hang out.
I hope all these ladies are prepared for a glass of wine on skype once in awhile, I don't care if it's your morning or not.
So here is to another new experiance in the Army life. At least most of us are doing it together once again. I am sure that in the future I will meet many more great people, but no one will compare to my fort riley chicks! So here is to future, and hoping that it as fulfilling as it has been for me here. I hope that you find new friends, but never forget the ones that are here or where here. So many memories have been made here that i don't think any of us could ever forget. I feel like no matter where we end up in the future, I will always be comparing everything to the people and events that I have here now. Future army friends...... you have a whole SHIT load of competition LOL
I LOVE YOU LADIES
I learned very quickly to make the best of what I had, and that was the best choice I could have made. When I started to meet people, it didn't take long before there were a number of us that hung out more times than not. They were there for me in times that I used to need family for. We all learned about each others past present and future. No one judged, we just talked and shared stories, wine and food. Birthdays, holidays, long weekends... they were all an excuse to all get together and hang out. Something that we all need from time to time.
These are ladies that know more about me than I sometimes know about myself. We made it through a deployment holding hands and standing tall. A support system for one another. Our kids have grown close and have become part of eachother's lives as well.
Now, after a deployment, field trainings, NTC, late nights at work, holidays alone, birthdays without our real families, and everything in between, we have all bonded together so tight. Without hesitation they are ladies that I call when I need help, advice or someone to listen. To know that when I need some help they will be there and expect nothing in return, except that I am there for them when they need something.
I was just thinking about how we all came so close, and never talked about the day that might take us away in the future. We never talked about where we wanted to go next. I think we all forgot that someday there would be an end. Now..... that time is coming very quickly, and I don't know what it will be like watching so many of these great people leave in a short amount of time. In the past it was day to day and there was not talk about the future PCSing that was coming. We all knew when the deployment was over that this was going to happen, but it was never as real as it is now. We are all aware that this is all part of the lifestyle, but I don't think that this will ever get any easier no matter how long we are in the army.
I feel like we are on the countdown now. Something I have never had to do before. I feel like there is now an end, and this summer will be like no other that I have ever had before. It will be hard. These will still always be my first "army ladies" and the ones that taught me all that I know now. I hope that we remain close. It won't be the same though. There not up the road when we want to hang out.
I hope all these ladies are prepared for a glass of wine on skype once in awhile, I don't care if it's your morning or not.
So here is to another new experiance in the Army life. At least most of us are doing it together once again. I am sure that in the future I will meet many more great people, but no one will compare to my fort riley chicks! So here is to future, and hoping that it as fulfilling as it has been for me here. I hope that you find new friends, but never forget the ones that are here or where here. So many memories have been made here that i don't think any of us could ever forget. I feel like no matter where we end up in the future, I will always be comparing everything to the people and events that I have here now. Future army friends...... you have a whole SHIT load of competition LOL
I LOVE YOU LADIES
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
I'm....... P-R-O-U-D!
I seem to put a lot of people before myself... their feelings, needs...etc.... It doesn't bother me, because when I know that I have made someone smile, I smile with satisfaction. That is all that I need, and that's just who I am. Telling people no is my weakness. If I was a superhero that would be the death of me. I don't like doing it, and more times than not, I can't. It ends up hurting me more than anything but I move on quickly because of all the experience. I spend less time on me than anyone..... I try to say that I am going to do something to better me, and it lasts a very short time. That's just who I am and I am alright with that.. After all no one can be me....better than myself :)
It took a few WONDERFUL people to show me that there are things that I need to do for me... starting with my GED.... I have been putting it off forever (like 6 years) All it took was a couple people that returned the favor and cared enough to help and push me to do it. Those are people I will always be in debt to, and people that I will always have close to me :)
In the last couple weeks, in the mist of doing the daily things (laundry, cleaning, kids etc...) I thought about all the things I might be able to do, if I learned self discipline. I first had to learn that it was not always about the other people that believe in me, but that first I had to believe in myself. So for about two weeks that is what I have been doing.
I did it without really thinking about all that I have accomplished.... But then I was sitting here the other night and was a little shocked at myself. So here is the list of things that I did, things I don't do on a daily basis
~Started a routine to remember all my medication ALL THE TIME (it's not really that helpful when you are always forgetting a dose or two!)
~I started tracking my diet and eating better... (still have a little work to do one this one...so for now it's a work in progress)
~Started working out EVERYDAY sometimes 2x a day. This is something that has been constant!
~ I cut HUGELY back on my coffee and soda daily intake. What I used to drink in a day, I now drink in about a week. I never drank water, and now it's bottle after bottle!
~I have accomplished night and day 2 of NO SIPPY CUPS for the kids. (this is actually for me as well. No more waking up in the middle of the night to fill them..I finally sleep through the WHOLE night. First time since I had Colton. Plus they are a pain in the day too.)
~ Started to potty train Colton (NO MORE DIAPERS for me pretty soon!!!)
~I enrolled in College and start at a Business School on the 29th!!!!
~ Took a "me" day with a girlfriend in Topeka....and had a blast and not a care in the world :) A-MAZING!!!!
Maybe none of this seems like much. I just feel like I have done more for me in 2 weeks than I have in like 4 years. It was a good feeling...a little guilty at times, but GOOD to do me for a little while. As I reflected back on all this, I smiled.... and said WOW, i am proud of it all!!! I have to say with all honesty that I have never actually said that to myself or felt the way that I did at that moment.
In the end, do you for a change. Making other people happy is a fantastic thing, but when you can look back and be proud of you, it's bittersweet! In a few years, I probably won't remember it, but it is really a HUGE boost of confidence. The fact that I am not scared anymore of what an outcome might be or where a road might lead. I know that no matter what I can smile and overcome... Even if it takes a little boost from other people. I really do hope that those that have helped so much know how awesome it was to have them there for me, and how much it impacted so much more!!!!
I DARE you to do something that you have been scared to do... it might change more than you think !
It took a few WONDERFUL people to show me that there are things that I need to do for me... starting with my GED.... I have been putting it off forever (like 6 years) All it took was a couple people that returned the favor and cared enough to help and push me to do it. Those are people I will always be in debt to, and people that I will always have close to me :)
In the last couple weeks, in the mist of doing the daily things (laundry, cleaning, kids etc...) I thought about all the things I might be able to do, if I learned self discipline. I first had to learn that it was not always about the other people that believe in me, but that first I had to believe in myself. So for about two weeks that is what I have been doing.
I did it without really thinking about all that I have accomplished.... But then I was sitting here the other night and was a little shocked at myself. So here is the list of things that I did, things I don't do on a daily basis
~Started a routine to remember all my medication ALL THE TIME (it's not really that helpful when you are always forgetting a dose or two!)
~I started tracking my diet and eating better... (still have a little work to do one this one...so for now it's a work in progress)
~Started working out EVERYDAY sometimes 2x a day. This is something that has been constant!
~ I cut HUGELY back on my coffee and soda daily intake. What I used to drink in a day, I now drink in about a week. I never drank water, and now it's bottle after bottle!
~I have accomplished night and day 2 of NO SIPPY CUPS for the kids. (this is actually for me as well. No more waking up in the middle of the night to fill them..I finally sleep through the WHOLE night. First time since I had Colton. Plus they are a pain in the day too.)
~ Started to potty train Colton (NO MORE DIAPERS for me pretty soon!!!)
~I enrolled in College and start at a Business School on the 29th!!!!
~ Took a "me" day with a girlfriend in Topeka....and had a blast and not a care in the world :) A-MAZING!!!!
Maybe none of this seems like much. I just feel like I have done more for me in 2 weeks than I have in like 4 years. It was a good feeling...a little guilty at times, but GOOD to do me for a little while. As I reflected back on all this, I smiled.... and said WOW, i am proud of it all!!! I have to say with all honesty that I have never actually said that to myself or felt the way that I did at that moment.
In the end, do you for a change. Making other people happy is a fantastic thing, but when you can look back and be proud of you, it's bittersweet! In a few years, I probably won't remember it, but it is really a HUGE boost of confidence. The fact that I am not scared anymore of what an outcome might be or where a road might lead. I know that no matter what I can smile and overcome... Even if it takes a little boost from other people. I really do hope that those that have helped so much know how awesome it was to have them there for me, and how much it impacted so much more!!!!
I DARE you to do something that you have been scared to do... it might change more than you think !
Friday, February 3, 2012
Better Than I Used to Be....
I know that not everyone listens to country, but I do.... all the time. There is this newer song, called "better than I used to be." I listen to it often, and I LOVE it. Every last word of it is soooo true. (Except where he says "I can finally stand the man in the mirror I see." Because I have never seen a MAN when I look in the mirror hehe) Here are the lyrics.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WO0keYA21oI
I don't think that this is a song that Only I can relate to. It's a pretty universal song for those people out there that are not, nor have never been perfect. It is a perfect reflection on how people can grow and learn even from the worst pasts. Regardless of if you want to admit it or not, no one has went their whole life and never hurt someone, or made a mistake or 50000.
I am not perfect. I am also perfectly happy with the fact, that I will never be. I have learned that being perfect is the silliest goal in life to have. No matter who you are, if that is your goal in life.... you will never get there. Sorry to crush all your hopes and dreams. There will always be someone with nicer things, more money, a better house, a newer car, a better job, better looks, skinnier figure, blah blah blah. So why bother. If you strive to be perfect, you are no longer yourself, you are someone else. Waist of time.
There is a difference in realizing and accepting that you will never be perfect, and deciding that you are going to be dumb about it and never learn and change as life around you changes. EVERYONE chances. More times than I can count, I have been hurt by people that I trusted the most. That is the way life goes. Most people will not see things the way that I see them. Most people will not be impacted by things that I might be heavily impacted by. I can not depend on other people to pick me up when I fall. That's my job. It is their job to be there when I need to talk and need advice. In the end my life is just that.....MINE. No one can tell me who I should be or HAVE to be.
People are going to hurt people that you care about, you are going to hurt people that you care about, and people that you care about will hurt you. Life is tough..... can't handle it?..... Get a helmet! In the end you can't control anyones thoughts or actions,except your own
On the flip side, it can be really hard to let people who you cared deeply about, go. You learn who is real and fake and in doing so you have to let some of them go. It's hard because you still want them to be, who you thought they were all this time.
Our pasts and those people who we let go mold us. They teach us little life lessons about things, people, and feelings. They sometimes show you how to find the good inside you and sometimes some of them teach you exactly how you DONT ever want to be. In this song, you hear about how your better, but not the best. You will always have a challenge a head of you and sometimes you need help to fight those demands. You hear about no matter how much you screwed up in the past, or someone screwed you, you get a little stronger.
I don't always feel stronger after something or someone leaves my life. Even if they made a positive impact. I don't always feel like i am ready to let them go. And sometimes they don't leave you a choice.
Take the chance to get to know everyone around you. Some may burn you and some may help you. Either way, you learn something from everyone no matter what the lesson may be. Don't judge by the past. Learn about people from who they are now. Help eachother grow and learn. If you stay friends forever you'll be as close as can be. If not, you both have learned something from eachother. Everyday Is a new day and a chance to learn!!!!! Everyone around you had something to teach you, even when they don't know it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WO0keYA21oI
I don't think that this is a song that Only I can relate to. It's a pretty universal song for those people out there that are not, nor have never been perfect. It is a perfect reflection on how people can grow and learn even from the worst pasts. Regardless of if you want to admit it or not, no one has went their whole life and never hurt someone, or made a mistake or 50000.
I am not perfect. I am also perfectly happy with the fact, that I will never be. I have learned that being perfect is the silliest goal in life to have. No matter who you are, if that is your goal in life.... you will never get there. Sorry to crush all your hopes and dreams. There will always be someone with nicer things, more money, a better house, a newer car, a better job, better looks, skinnier figure, blah blah blah. So why bother. If you strive to be perfect, you are no longer yourself, you are someone else. Waist of time.
There is a difference in realizing and accepting that you will never be perfect, and deciding that you are going to be dumb about it and never learn and change as life around you changes. EVERYONE chances. More times than I can count, I have been hurt by people that I trusted the most. That is the way life goes. Most people will not see things the way that I see them. Most people will not be impacted by things that I might be heavily impacted by. I can not depend on other people to pick me up when I fall. That's my job. It is their job to be there when I need to talk and need advice. In the end my life is just that.....MINE. No one can tell me who I should be or HAVE to be.
People are going to hurt people that you care about, you are going to hurt people that you care about, and people that you care about will hurt you. Life is tough..... can't handle it?..... Get a helmet! In the end you can't control anyones thoughts or actions,except your own
On the flip side, it can be really hard to let people who you cared deeply about, go. You learn who is real and fake and in doing so you have to let some of them go. It's hard because you still want them to be, who you thought they were all this time.
Our pasts and those people who we let go mold us. They teach us little life lessons about things, people, and feelings. They sometimes show you how to find the good inside you and sometimes some of them teach you exactly how you DONT ever want to be. In this song, you hear about how your better, but not the best. You will always have a challenge a head of you and sometimes you need help to fight those demands. You hear about no matter how much you screwed up in the past, or someone screwed you, you get a little stronger.
I don't always feel stronger after something or someone leaves my life. Even if they made a positive impact. I don't always feel like i am ready to let them go. And sometimes they don't leave you a choice.
Take the chance to get to know everyone around you. Some may burn you and some may help you. Either way, you learn something from everyone no matter what the lesson may be. Don't judge by the past. Learn about people from who they are now. Help eachother grow and learn. If you stay friends forever you'll be as close as can be. If not, you both have learned something from eachother. Everyday Is a new day and a chance to learn!!!!! Everyone around you had something to teach you, even when they don't know it.
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