Just Breathe!!

Today was the first day the kids went to daycare! For those that are not military, the kids of deployed soldiers get 16 free hours a month for childcare. Dallas was so Happy to go. When I picked him up 4 hours later, he looked at me and asked me what I was doing there. They told me that even Colton warmed up to the idea. He soon noticed how much fun all the other kids were having, and joined right in. I was so proud of both of them.
I somewhat thought they established the free childcare so that a mother can get things done like, shopping, appointments, housework, etc. That is what I planned to do. I planned to come clean, take a trip to Walmart and then to the commissary for groceries. Until about 5 minutes after I dropped them off. I thought to myself, this is my time! I couldn't really think about something that I wanted to do alone though. Truthfully its not something I have thought about! SO i ditched the coming home part, and went to get my nails done before getting the groceries and things at walmart.
As I started my way to the salon, I almost turned around more than once. I couldn't really justify spending the money on something that I didn't need. I am really glad that I just went there anyways. In the back of my mind all I could think was that if there were others waiting I would leave. For the very first time, there was no one in there.
I gave in and sat in the chair. Within 10 minutes I could hear myself let out this BIG sign. I soon realized that I had been almost like holding it all in. Till the time that I could relax and think of nothing else, or worry about anything. It felt good.... The guy took his time and I had a whole hour to just BREATHE!!!! I now know the other reason the military is so generous to provide us with 16 hours a month. We all need some time to BREATHE

When Stress Hits you....

Today has been the weirdest day to start. Yesterday was daylight savings, and it messed us all up bad. My oldest slept till 10:30 this morning. So to start the day there is no nap in future. As I was thinking about all things that I need to do, I soon realized that since we got into the Military my days have changed so much. I used to spend my days with one child, not two. Playing outside, going to grandma's and auntie's houses. Thoughts about dinner were so simple, and outside of those thought's there was not much more to worry about.

Since we moved to Kansas though there is not thought about what family members we will be visiting today, and thoughts of dinner never come until 4:30, sometimes later. This life is so crazy, but yet I have no complaints. I miss all that is back home. I like how this life consumes me and fits me. Although it is stressful with the FRG sometimes, I do not think that I would trade it.

I have really heard nothing but horror stories about people and the FRG that they belong to. I have seen them fall apart at the seems and be nothing but drama. I wonder what people who had to walk into that from the start did. Without the wonderful people that I have meet and have worked with in our Family Readiness Group, I cannot imagine anyone having to move. What if someone has to leave? Worse yet what if we have to go. I know thatday will come. I know that someday I am looking at a deployment, but I must think positive. I must know that it has been a pleasure to meet these people. If I can only be with them for the time that I have I must remember that I would like that more than not knowing them at all.

Everything that I have learned in the last 7 months, all the people that I have meet. They have all Impacted my life in some way or another for the best. They have brought out things in me that I never knew that I had. Strength, love, a bond to people that some may never have. I am so lucky to have been given this chance, a chance at this life, and these people. I count my blessings everyday. All the while missing what was left behind back home.

I know that no matter what happens in the future these people will be there for me even if they are a million miles away. I know that the people back home are always going to be there for, like they have all these years, and they will be there when I get back. I feel so lucky to have all of this!!! I think I might burst at the seems.