One more reason why I love this army community.

   As much as we fellow army spouses complain sometimes about the way we get put on the back burner is no secret.  All of us as a spouse to a soldier have been a bit angered at one time or another about the way the army "forgets about us"   Deep in the back of our minds, we know this is the way that this lifestyle goes.  Some choose to whine and complain about it, while the rest of us get used to it and move on.  I was told early on this whole crazy adventure that "if the army wanted you to have spouse, they would have issued you one."  This proves to be true time and time again.  While many choose to take it out on their spouses because they can not be there when you want them there, or they have to miss things, or the nice dinner you made is cold by the time they got home... you get the point....   It is not usually your soldiers fault!  You can not be mad at him for something that he can not control right?!?!?   These are all reasons why, we look to the people to the left and right of us, all the time and lean on each other for assistance. 
      This is also why I love this life most of the time. When we were in Kansas in our first little apartment that was tiny tiny and in other words sucked butt, we experienced a little of the kindness that goes around.  There was soldier and his family that lived below us, and in the snow and cold he would always shovel out my spot, and try to save me the spot right in front.  He knew I had 2 small kids, and he also probably knew what a pain in the butt it is to have to haul them through the snow and ice and than up the stairs.  One day I had my youngest (who was a few months at the time) sleeping and my 2 year old napping.  I was a mother and so as many would, I took the time to take a little cat nap.  There was soon a large loud knock at my door.  I was a bit nervous as we were not in the best neighborhood, my husband was not home and it woke me up.  I rushed to the door to find my neighbor there.  He wanted to know if I wanted all the stuff that was left in his fridge.  Condiments and things of that nature.  You can not ship them when you move, so you are SOL unless you can find someone to give them to or just throw them out and waste them.  I accepted.  This was all new to me and I found it a little weird, but I did not want to be rude.  I don't know why out of all the people in the apartment he choose me to give them all too.  Maybe it was because he knew we were new to the military and therefore didn't make a whole lot.  Maybe it was because I had little ones and he felt a little bad for me.  Maybe I am the only one that said hi to him when his jolly little self was out and about.  Who knows.  It was a random act of kindness and not the first time I would see it in the military.
     As I have since seen many friends come and move on, we have all left something or another at someones house.  We all have a little piece of each other somewhere no matter where we are in the world.  I had a friend that left kansas and left all her things she could not take with her, with me.  Candles, lotions, perfume, oils, cleaning supplies..... anything that is liquid can not be shipped.   When I left Kansas I left a lot of my things with a close friend of mine.  Its like "the military lifecycle"
   I had this happen again to me today, but in a much greater sense.  This soldier knocked on my door and said "This may sound like a strange request, but we are moving, and I have a lot of chemicals.  Like you know cleaning stuff.  I was wondering if you would want to take them.  There is kind of a lot, but I thought it was better than throwing them out."  He seemed really nervous about asking me, but for me this was not the first time I had been asked such question.  I said I would and he brought them over, all 3 boxes of cleaning supplies and garage items.  It was a lot more than I expected!  None the less, when you are moving you hate to have to throw them out and see all that money down the drain and they are most likely the last things left in your house, and you just want them gone.  He than said " I don't know if you will allow this, but I have a mattress I have to put in the garbage, can i put it in your garbage."  This seems strange to people that have not lived on post i suppose, but the rule is.... you have 1 day a week that is trash day.  Part of clearing your house, is that there is nothing in your garbage cans and they have been rinsed out.  So say you have garbage day on friday and you clear housing on wends. because your flight leaves early Friday you are SOL..... so of course I said yes.  I asked if there was anything else.  He asked if I needed a grill, but we already have nice one, and than he asked if maybe we need a lawn mower?  WHY YES WE DO.  You see it's not like we are to cheap to buy one, but we are only responsible for cutting the back yard and I could not see buying a weed eater and a lawn mower, so we got the weed eater and have cut the grass with that.  So than he said "Ok, well how about 20..$ WAIT WAIT WAIT how about you just take it since you took everything else off our hands today and have been so nice to let me use your garbage. It has a gas can also and it already has gas in it."  SOLD!!!
   I mowed the lawn and weed wacked and edged the whole little lawn today with a smile on my face.  He very much could have charged me for the mower and I would have probably bought it.  He didn't because, he needed it gone and I needed one.  Kinda the way most things work. You can be in need of anything in the military and someone has one they will sell you cheap or they will loan you or give away because they have no use for it.  I like to be part of something where people can be so giving and we can all help each other out.  Again this man could have choose anyone on the block and asked me instead.  If we can not take it with us when we go, you can best believe I will be returning the favor to someone else as well.
     Don't get me wrong there are some people who are just trying to make a profit, but I love running into those people that just want to help someone else when they could use something.  It is a nice feeling when people around you are that way.  I don't think I would have the same things happen if I was just living in a normal life.  Fact is we are all here for the same reasons.  No one is better than another, we all live in the same place, and some day we will all leave here and move on.  We all live by the same rules and those in the same ranks live by the same paychecks.  We all shop at the same places, and participate in the same things.  We have all felt alone in this life, we have all been alone at one time or another.  We have all played mom and dad, we have all suffered, and endured.  We are the military families of America and we are all human! 


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Blast from the past

I thought that since I started this blog somewhat in the middle of our military life, I would take some time every so often to get you all up to speed on what brought us to where we are, and the challenged and advantaged to this life. 

Do you ever wonder what life is like behind the scenes of the military families?  Do you ever look at a military family and think “man they have it made, and they make soooo much money!”  Do you envy a military spouse because she doesn’t have to work? If you answered yes to any of these questions, I have news for you.  

                I entered into this lifestyle by accident.  I was not looking for a man in uniform, though I must say those uniforms sure make a man look good!  I was married to my husband before he was a soldier.  We were young, and broke. We were having a rough time getting along most of the time. We already had one child and another on the way.  We had bills and had been out of our parents houses for years prior.  Most days, it really felt like it was just not going to work out between us.  We went our own ways for a bit.  To make a long story short, he joined without me knowing to support the kids.  Later on, we worked on things and while he was in basic training in Oklahoma, we were able to work it out and get back together. 

                To make things clear here, there was very limited conversation phone wise while he was there.  He had his phone sometimes on the weekends, and sometimes not.  We had to communicate the most through snail mail.  This included telling him that his next child would also be a boy.  I finally was able to make the trip with his family to Oklahoma to watch him graduate Basic training. We had him for a whole entire weekend. Than we left and he had to stay for AIT.  I remember it really sucking that we had to leave after we finally got to see each other again.  It was a really long drive when you are really pregnant and have a small child along as well.  Needless to say, no one died and we all made it through. 

                Close to the time it was for me to have our second child, was close to the time he was to be done with AIT.  So knowing that he was about to be assigned to a new state and place to live, I moved out of the house we had and in with his parents.  Now, I was happy to have a place to live, and people to help me with things, it was really different living with someone when you haven’t in so very long.  I was there for a month or two before my husband called and told me he knew where he was going to be stationed.  In my mind I thought “North Carolina, Texas, Washington, Colorado, or maybe California.”  I didn’t know where I WANTED to go, but since we had no say in the matter, I did not see the point in trying to find somewhere that I wanted to be.  He called me and told me. I was so confused, and so shocked! Of all the places that the army can send someone, I forgot this state was even a state.  Can you guess where the beautiful glorious army sent us too????  Yup, they were shipping all the little Johnson butts to Fort Riley KANSAS!!!   Don’t forget Todo. 

                He came home a day before he was originally going to, and almost scared the baby right out of me. He was sitting on my bed when I came back to his parent’s house one day.   He had two weeks of leave, and that ment that in order for me to go to the land of Oz with him, I needed to get this baby out in the next 2 weeks.  This part of my life actually worked out well, because 2 days into that leave time, I was ready to deliver.   We were able to pack up the uhaul and both cars, spend time with family, say good bye, and take care of all the little things…like resting…NOT.  Resting doesn’t exists anymore!

                So we make our journey in Aug of 2009, my birthday to be exact.  As I later found out, most all my birthdays, would be me driving.  We started the 12 hour trip, that was planned to take 12 maybe 14 hours.   My husband had the jeep with the Uahul and I had the car, with the kids.  LUCKY ME!  We made it to the half way point, and WHAM, just like that the jeep was smoking and smelling a little funky down the highway.  So, we pull over.  There is no way we are leaving this thing on the side of the road with our life inside of it.  So my husband stays with it while it try and find a phone book.  (we barely had normal phones little lone smart phones than)  We find this little sketchy town and we figure out a tow truck and a hotel for the night.  The tow truck shows up and takes the jeep to the shop.  The kids and I get some dinner and head to the hotel.  Time passes and we get a call.  We just overheated the tranny because, SOMEONE was driving it on overdrive!   SERIOUSLY.   Either way we had to stay the night now.  The next day was a race against time to meet with the people that were going to rent us an apartment before they closed for the weekend.  If you know my husband, you know that time is the last thing that he is worried about when he is driving.  Of course, I didn’t know where I was going so I HAD to follow and it was killing me to go that slow on the freeway knowing we were on a time limit.   Most people would have just opted for a hotel for the weekend.  1. We didn’t have more than 100.00 to our name, and 2. Have you ever tried to get a hotel right by a military post on a weekend?   Families have to live in those for months sometimes. (Which I would also later find out)   Somehow we made it.

                Now we were so tired we all went inside and slept on the floor for a few hours.  I had not seen this place that I was about to live in, only my husband had.  He made sure it was ready for us when we got here.  It was very thoughtful of him. Once I woke up, and was able to look around, there was nothing to look at.  It was a 2 bedroom, and there was four of us!  It was 1 floor with 1 bathroom, 1 level, no place for a washer and dryer, and no storage.  We had no choice, this was it!   This was home!  We now had to do with what we had.  It was alright at first, but as the year ended, I could not stand that little place. 

                We had brought a Uhaul with a few essentials with, but we still had to wait for the military to ship the rest of our things, which at the time, was not a whole lot!  When that stuff finally came, we were so happy, and I was so frustrated because there was nowhere to put any of this stuff!  For the year that we were there, there were boxes behind our bedroom door, stacked to the ceiling, because there was no place to put it.  I could not believe that this is what I agreed to come to Kansas for. 

                I did make my first friend though!  Man was I happy.  Her husband and mine went to basic and AIT together, and they even let my husband stay with them in the hotel before he was able to come home and get me.  This girl was my new partner in crime.  They were still living in the hotel when I got there.  Once we were settled, we invited them to dinner.  My youngest was 2 weeks and my oldest was 2.  My husband had informed me that this girl LOVED kids and more so babies.  So we hit it off from the start. So started the many adventures of the new military spouse's!!!

Tune in tomorrow for more of the adventures of an army wife!