As much as we fellow army spouses complain sometimes about the way we get put on the back burner is no secret. All of us as a spouse to a soldier have been a bit angered at one time or another about the way the army "forgets about us" Deep in the back of our minds, we know this is the way that this lifestyle goes. Some choose to whine and complain about it, while the rest of us get used to it and move on. I was told early on this whole crazy adventure that "if the army wanted you to have spouse, they would have issued you one." This proves to be true time and time again. While many choose to take it out on their spouses because they can not be there when you want them there, or they have to miss things, or the nice dinner you made is cold by the time they got home... you get the point.... It is not usually your soldiers fault! You can not be mad at him for something that he can not control right?!?!? These are all reasons why, we look to the people to the left and right of us, all the time and lean on each other for assistance.
This is also why I love this life most of the time. When we were in Kansas in our first little apartment that was tiny tiny and in other words sucked butt, we experienced a little of the kindness that goes around. There was soldier and his family that lived below us, and in the snow and cold he would always shovel out my spot, and try to save me the spot right in front. He knew I had 2 small kids, and he also probably knew what a pain in the butt it is to have to haul them through the snow and ice and than up the stairs. One day I had my youngest (who was a few months at the time) sleeping and my 2 year old napping. I was a mother and so as many would, I took the time to take a little cat nap. There was soon a large loud knock at my door. I was a bit nervous as we were not in the best neighborhood, my husband was not home and it woke me up. I rushed to the door to find my neighbor there. He wanted to know if I wanted all the stuff that was left in his fridge. Condiments and things of that nature. You can not ship them when you move, so you are SOL unless you can find someone to give them to or just throw them out and waste them. I accepted. This was all new to me and I found it a little weird, but I did not want to be rude. I don't know why out of all the people in the apartment he choose me to give them all too. Maybe it was because he knew we were new to the military and therefore didn't make a whole lot. Maybe it was because I had little ones and he felt a little bad for me. Maybe I am the only one that said hi to him when his jolly little self was out and about. Who knows. It was a random act of kindness and not the first time I would see it in the military.
As I have since seen many friends come and move on, we have all left something or another at someones house. We all have a little piece of each other somewhere no matter where we are in the world. I had a friend that left kansas and left all her things she could not take with her, with me. Candles, lotions, perfume, oils, cleaning supplies..... anything that is liquid can not be shipped. When I left Kansas I left a lot of my things with a close friend of mine. Its like "the military lifecycle"
I had this happen again to me today, but in a much greater sense. This soldier knocked on my door and said "This may sound like a strange request, but we are moving, and I have a lot of chemicals. Like you know cleaning stuff. I was wondering if you would want to take them. There is kind of a lot, but I thought it was better than throwing them out." He seemed really nervous about asking me, but for me this was not the first time I had been asked such question. I said I would and he brought them over, all 3 boxes of cleaning supplies and garage items. It was a lot more than I expected! None the less, when you are moving you hate to have to throw them out and see all that money down the drain and they are most likely the last things left in your house, and you just want them gone. He than said " I don't know if you will allow this, but I have a mattress I have to put in the garbage, can i put it in your garbage." This seems strange to people that have not lived on post i suppose, but the rule is.... you have 1 day a week that is trash day. Part of clearing your house, is that there is nothing in your garbage cans and they have been rinsed out. So say you have garbage day on friday and you clear housing on wends. because your flight leaves early Friday you are SOL..... so of course I said yes. I asked if there was anything else. He asked if I needed a grill, but we already have nice one, and than he asked if maybe we need a lawn mower? WHY YES WE DO. You see it's not like we are to cheap to buy one, but we are only responsible for cutting the back yard and I could not see buying a weed eater and a lawn mower, so we got the weed eater and have cut the grass with that. So than he said "Ok, well how about 20..$ WAIT WAIT WAIT how about you just take it since you took everything else off our hands today and have been so nice to let me use your garbage. It has a gas can also and it already has gas in it." SOLD!!!
I mowed the lawn and weed wacked and edged the whole little lawn today with a smile on my face. He very much could have charged me for the mower and I would have probably bought it. He didn't because, he needed it gone and I needed one. Kinda the way most things work. You can be in need of anything in the military and someone has one they will sell you cheap or they will loan you or give away because they have no use for it. I like to be part of something where people can be so giving and we can all help each other out. Again this man could have choose anyone on the block and asked me instead. If we can not take it with us when we go, you can best believe I will be returning the favor to someone else as well.
Don't get me wrong there are some people who are just trying to make a profit, but I love running into those people that just want to help someone else when they could use something. It is a nice feeling when people around you are that way. I don't think I would have the same things happen if I was just living in a normal life. Fact is we are all here for the same reasons. No one is better than another, we all live in the same place, and some day we will all leave here and move on. We all live by the same rules and those in the same ranks live by the same paychecks. We all shop at the same places, and participate in the same things. We have all felt alone in this life, we have all been alone at one time or another. We have all played mom and dad, we have all suffered, and endured. We are the military families of America and we are all human!
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