Well there is another failed attempt to blog in a timely fashion. UGGH There have been so many things going on, then again I think I use that excuse every time I have this issue, which is more and more frequent lately.
Currently, I am wondering... Where are all the hours in the day going? I was certain there was 24 hours in a day, and yet I feel like I barely have time to sleep! I know there are plenty of you out there that can relate. I don't know how to juggle it all sometimes.
There are a few new things that I don't know if I mentioned in my last post. Then again I made the mistake of now reading that one before making this one. Oh well. Alittle up date won't hurt.
Both boy, yes both, are in soccer. Dallas plays Mon thurs and games on sat. Colton plays on Mondays. Dallas has soccer pictures on Thursday, which I am excited about. So is he, because that means tomorrow he gets to go with daddy to the PX to get a hair cut. If you have little boys on a military post this is probably a privilege to your little ones as well. Well the boys anyways. Of course he has school pictures the following Thurs. Which of course is going to cost an arm and leg. They could not have timed that all at a worse time to have them within the same pay period.
Dallas is doing FANTASTIC in kindergarten. He loves it. Currently working on his 7th week. I go for conferences at the end of the month and expect nothing more than a good report. I can see a really big difference since he has been there. His teacher is amazing. She is one of the those teachers that has been there a long time. So she just doesn't take any crap from any of the kids. At the same time she has been there long enough to know how to effectively teach them kids.
On another note, My school is..... well going. I like it, most of the time. I mean I just feel like sometimes I know I should be doing it, but I am so tired. I know that if I start it, I wont be done till late. Somehow still I am getting good grades and cruising right along in the courses.
I started a new job.... In Aug. I am now a Paraprofessional at the Middle School here on post. I work with 6th graders. I know that when I was job hunting, I was really skeptical about taking any job that ment working with kids. After all I have spent the last 5 years with them at home. It has turned out to be my favorite job I have ever held. Which is not saying to much LOL. I interviewed for all the elementary schools, the head start and the Middle schools. I was offered all the positions which amazed me and made me happy. I chose this one because this Middle school is on post so I will not have to drive to Junction City everyday. I also decided that I have spent my years changing diapers and working with little kids. In the end, my kids are only going to get bigger and not smaller, so why not learn the ropes about kids that are older. The pay and hours were the same across the board. Ultimatly, I know I made the perfect choice. It really fits me. This kids never seem to amaze me either.
UMMMM> we got a new dog. I know you think that I am crazy, and I think that also. He is a mastiff/lab mix. Now you all really think that I lost my marbles! I did. He is really sweet, and his name is Bruno. I wish we could have changed his name, but he is already 3 and knows his name. So that was out of the question. Dave just really wanted him and he needed a home. His family got orders to the middle east where dogs are not allowed. Someone had to take him. We take good care of him though. Bently and him get along well for 2 very different dogs. I feel silly sometimes when they are both outside with me since they are 3 pounds and 95 pounds LOL It all works out thought.
My Auntie came to visit this past weekend and although I could not take time off, we had fun. We really only one full day together. Oh well, we made the best of it. She came in Thursday night, late. Friday she was home with the boys and then when I got home, we had an FRG BBQ that I was heading that we went to. That was a total success. Saturday, we had a blast. Made a trip to Freddy's for lunch, went to dallas' Soccer game, Went to Rockstar and Rogers, The PX, Starbucks, Made a trip to walmart, BBQ steaks here, painted pumpkins and made caramel apples. I was overall a lot of fun and the kids really enjoyed as did I.
I think I need to start working on my test though for Computers in the Medical office. I have more to say though, so I will be back tomorrow@!!!!!
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Monday, August 13, 2012
...Then there was work.
So I am proud to say that I am now a paraprofessional at the Fort Riley Middle School starting today. I went in and did my first day of in processing (which was a giant pile of paperwork) this morning. I report for my first day tomorrow. YAHHH... right.
Knowing this, I woke up excited and a little nervous. I knew that I would be fine, but it was the principal of the matter. 5 am, I was up and adam.... ok well though the alarm was set for 515, I finally rolled out of bed at 525. That's beyond the point though. I get ready get the kids to the babysitters.... after noticing was tire was practically flat. I get to the air pump in the next town, because if you live here at Fort Riley, you also know that no one has any respect for the air hoses here and even the new ones are always out of order. I was able to get air in there and make my way to the building I was to be at by 8 am.
I was a little bit early, so I opened my pepsi.... BAM.... all over me and my truck! A whole entire puddle inside, I think I could have went for a swim. Actually, I did in a way. Oh, did I mention that part where I was wearing white pants? Yeah. So.... I have no spare pants.... because well I forgot that I was that big of a Klutz. Other option? Race the clock back to my house and change. So I did! Yeah... so the good news is I made it. 2 mins till 8 am I was walking in the door with new pants on and feeling better about the day. What more can go wrong, after the morning I had already had. RIGHT?!!?!?
Haha well, the rest of my paperwork process went well. Which was a relief all in itself. BUT THEN.... I get home and start to clean out the truck for this morning's wonderful experience. 400$ Dyson vacuum just stops as I am vacuuming it out. Stops. There was nothing wrong with it... just stops. FINE, I was already frustrated and just wanting it to be over. By god's grace I kept my cool, went in and got the other vacuum. Put the other one way and start all over. 10 Mins in... DONE, it also just quit. REALLY.... I am so ready to for this to be done, and if this is any insight on how working life is going to be, I am not so sure I am all that excited anymore.
Praying for a better day tomorrow.
Knowing this, I woke up excited and a little nervous. I knew that I would be fine, but it was the principal of the matter. 5 am, I was up and adam.... ok well though the alarm was set for 515, I finally rolled out of bed at 525. That's beyond the point though. I get ready get the kids to the babysitters.... after noticing was tire was practically flat. I get to the air pump in the next town, because if you live here at Fort Riley, you also know that no one has any respect for the air hoses here and even the new ones are always out of order. I was able to get air in there and make my way to the building I was to be at by 8 am.
I was a little bit early, so I opened my pepsi.... BAM.... all over me and my truck! A whole entire puddle inside, I think I could have went for a swim. Actually, I did in a way. Oh, did I mention that part where I was wearing white pants? Yeah. So.... I have no spare pants.... because well I forgot that I was that big of a Klutz. Other option? Race the clock back to my house and change. So I did! Yeah... so the good news is I made it. 2 mins till 8 am I was walking in the door with new pants on and feeling better about the day. What more can go wrong, after the morning I had already had. RIGHT?!!?!?
Haha well, the rest of my paperwork process went well. Which was a relief all in itself. BUT THEN.... I get home and start to clean out the truck for this morning's wonderful experience. 400$ Dyson vacuum just stops as I am vacuuming it out. Stops. There was nothing wrong with it... just stops. FINE, I was already frustrated and just wanting it to be over. By god's grace I kept my cool, went in and got the other vacuum. Put the other one way and start all over. 10 Mins in... DONE, it also just quit. REALLY.... I am so ready to for this to be done, and if this is any insight on how working life is going to be, I am not so sure I am all that excited anymore.
Praying for a better day tomorrow.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
EEEEKKK 25!!!
So my 25th Birthday is right around the corner. I am not sure exactly how I feel. I knew that someday I would be 25... but people were not kidding when they said it would come fast. Makes me smile knowing that there are people who feel really old now that I am almost 25 LOL.
I have to say that this last year, I feel like I have accomplished more than I have in any of the past years. For that I feel accomplished and proud. I finished my GED, I started and finished my professional administrative assistant courses and enrolled in medical terminology, electronic Health records, medical administrative assisting, and Medical billing... I start those in Aug. The weirdest thing is that I am really excited to take them all. I know they will be challenging and I think that's why.
I have remained the FRG leader, and ran that with flying colors, making the running total 2.5 years that I have been doing that. I love it still. I also recently became the admin the a Fort Riley Spouses facebook page. Aside from all that, I have been job hunting and getting little one enrolled in school. Both the boys are signed up to play soccer in sept. School starts next month. There is always something in this house. Oh and I have quit smoking of course, which is kinda a big deal! I do have one now and then, but I do not buy them, and not very often. Certainly not an everyday thing.
I think that I have come a long way. We will also be managing our first PCS (Moving) in 6-7 months. I know that we will make it through, but I also know that is one of the most stressful parts of being an Army Wife. Trusting all your life and belongings to some company! That's rough. I can not wait to be in Hawaii though. I know it will not all be fun and games, I will have responsibilities, but when you are there, i bet they are a lot more fun to do HAHA. Anyways the boys are going to the dentist later.. WHich they LOVE. So have a good day!
I have to say that this last year, I feel like I have accomplished more than I have in any of the past years. For that I feel accomplished and proud. I finished my GED, I started and finished my professional administrative assistant courses and enrolled in medical terminology, electronic Health records, medical administrative assisting, and Medical billing... I start those in Aug. The weirdest thing is that I am really excited to take them all. I know they will be challenging and I think that's why.
I have remained the FRG leader, and ran that with flying colors, making the running total 2.5 years that I have been doing that. I love it still. I also recently became the admin the a Fort Riley Spouses facebook page. Aside from all that, I have been job hunting and getting little one enrolled in school. Both the boys are signed up to play soccer in sept. School starts next month. There is always something in this house. Oh and I have quit smoking of course, which is kinda a big deal! I do have one now and then, but I do not buy them, and not very often. Certainly not an everyday thing.
I think that I have come a long way. We will also be managing our first PCS (Moving) in 6-7 months. I know that we will make it through, but I also know that is one of the most stressful parts of being an Army Wife. Trusting all your life and belongings to some company! That's rough. I can not wait to be in Hawaii though. I know it will not all be fun and games, I will have responsibilities, but when you are there, i bet they are a lot more fun to do HAHA. Anyways the boys are going to the dentist later.. WHich they LOVE. So have a good day!
Monday, July 23, 2012
Just cuz it zips....
Just a though.... I know that it's hot. If your not dying in the Kansas heat it has been about 9-105 here and sometimes higher. No relief ever here lately and we are all paying for it. On a normal, not so hot day, you can usually find one or ten wives who are under-dressed for the occasion. By this I mean, they are wearing clothes 3 sizes to small.
Let me start by saying that, If your clothes are so tight you are bubbling out of them, your probably making yourself produce more heat.... certainly in those areas! NASTY! I have heard of a lot of "near throw up experiences" from people who have went to the commissary for milk and saw someones gut hanging out of unbuttoned pants. So let me quote something that I read the other day..."During this heat wave, please respect others and dress for the body you have.... not the body that you want."
I like the fact that so many people seem to be so confident now days for whatever reason. I am not even willing to go as far as most do. Yes I am 125 pounds and 5 foot 2.... Im decently proportioned. HOWEVER I am aware that my thighs are problem areas and that not everyone wants to see them damn things hanging out. So when I swim and when I tan, I wear a bikini top and swim shorts! I don't know how people or why they would want to.... Show off things like that to other people. It's not cute, it's humiliating to the person doing it, and most the time they walk around and not care.
Maybe I am like this because I am also the kind of person that doesn't stay in her jammies all day, can't stand not getting ready even if I am not going anywhere, and RARELY wears jammies out of the house. ( no offense to people that do.)
So to quote yet something else that I have seen lately
JUST BECAUSE IT ZIPS...... DOES NOT MEAN IT FITS!!!!! Check a mirror before you leave the house! Ill im asking is that you cover yourself. Keep those clothes for your husband if he likes that kind of thing, or donate them.... I don't care.
Let me start by saying that, If your clothes are so tight you are bubbling out of them, your probably making yourself produce more heat.... certainly in those areas! NASTY! I have heard of a lot of "near throw up experiences" from people who have went to the commissary for milk and saw someones gut hanging out of unbuttoned pants. So let me quote something that I read the other day..."During this heat wave, please respect others and dress for the body you have.... not the body that you want."
I like the fact that so many people seem to be so confident now days for whatever reason. I am not even willing to go as far as most do. Yes I am 125 pounds and 5 foot 2.... Im decently proportioned. HOWEVER I am aware that my thighs are problem areas and that not everyone wants to see them damn things hanging out. So when I swim and when I tan, I wear a bikini top and swim shorts! I don't know how people or why they would want to.... Show off things like that to other people. It's not cute, it's humiliating to the person doing it, and most the time they walk around and not care.
Maybe I am like this because I am also the kind of person that doesn't stay in her jammies all day, can't stand not getting ready even if I am not going anywhere, and RARELY wears jammies out of the house. ( no offense to people that do.)
So to quote yet something else that I have seen lately
JUST BECAUSE IT ZIPS...... DOES NOT MEAN IT FITS!!!!! Check a mirror before you leave the house! Ill im asking is that you cover yourself. Keep those clothes for your husband if he likes that kind of thing, or donate them.... I don't care.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Smoking.... non-smoking
Alright, so it was decided that this family has spent the last 5 years and well before that buying about 2 packs of cigarettes a day for myself and my husband. They are cheaper on this military post then they are in any surrounding towns. SO instead of paying 7$ a pack, we pay 7.50$ for 2 packs. Still when you break it down.... It looks something like this....
7.50 x 7 = 52.50 per week.
52.50 x 4 = 210.00 a month
210.00 x 12 = 2520.00 a year.
2520.00 x 6 years (that we have been together) =$15120.00
Yeah, I know. We could buy a small new vehicle for that price. Unfortunatly, we have nothing to show for it. I have decided that I have been doing it far to long, and it is doing nothing for me in return, besides of course killing me. I also have that little thing called AutoImmune Disease, which means I was told smoking was about the worst thing I could be doing for that.
So there you have it, some of the steps that lead me where I am 2 weeks later. I got an appointment with my Dr, got the Chantix, and prayed for the best. Here is how it works.... You can take it for 12 wks. Should you need more your dr can give you another 12 wk supply. You can smoke for the first week as it builds up in your system. Slowly within that week the dose increases in your system.
Here is a brief run down of how it worked for me. First of all some people say this stuff is so bad for you. Yes, like any other medication that you take, it has side effects. DUH...it can have strong side effects, but just be aware of them and you will be FINE!!! Days 1-3 I took 1/2 a pill once a day. There was no change in the way that I smoked, how often I smoked, or when I had an urge to smoke. Days 3-5 I took 1/2 a pill 2x a day. I was slowly noticing that I was not smoking as much at all. Days 5-7 I took 1 whole pill one time a day. This is when I saw the biggest difference. I smoked about 1-3 a day vs. the usual 15-20. Just like that. Day 7-till end of prescription is 2 pills 2x a day. I did smoke one this morning. I couldn't finish it. So all together today I had 2 half ones that makes 1. It's now 10:30, and I will admit, that I would like to have some of one. However, I got some gum instead. My advice to anyone taking it, it has been said that your DR sometimes "forgets" to inform that you need to take this with a meal and plenty of water. It is important to take any medication with water and something in your stomach, it is most important with this. The water helps you dilute the pill.... otherwise you will probably get so nauseated you will just throw up.
I am a little more irritable, I can imagine that is expected. In the end I am really happy that I tried this stuff. Quitting on my own was a total bust each time. My Dr also informed me that it's really not good for your body to just quit like that. It can be too stressful. I am a little agitated right now with it being a long time since i had the last one. I know thought that with this stuff I can actually do it, and it's not as hard as I would have thought. I am putting a lot less work into it then I would have thought. It kinda does it for you. It makes the cigarettes taste so bad, you just put it out without thinking and then with a little gum and keeping busy, your pretty much set. That is the part that has been the hardest. It has been 104-110 degrees here so there is not a whole lot to do except stay in where it is cool enough to breathe.
I am confident that I will live though.... and even thinking about quitting before made me think that I was going to die without them. I think that I will pick up healthy habit. Perhaps the gym to prepare for my move to Hawaii, but that's in another blog post!
If you are thinking about quitting, I really really would suggest you give this stuff a try... might just save your life. :) GOOOOOOOODDD LUUUUUCK
7.50 x 7 = 52.50 per week.
52.50 x 4 = 210.00 a month
210.00 x 12 = 2520.00 a year.
2520.00 x 6 years (that we have been together) =$15120.00
Yeah, I know. We could buy a small new vehicle for that price. Unfortunatly, we have nothing to show for it. I have decided that I have been doing it far to long, and it is doing nothing for me in return, besides of course killing me. I also have that little thing called AutoImmune Disease, which means I was told smoking was about the worst thing I could be doing for that.
So there you have it, some of the steps that lead me where I am 2 weeks later. I got an appointment with my Dr, got the Chantix, and prayed for the best. Here is how it works.... You can take it for 12 wks. Should you need more your dr can give you another 12 wk supply. You can smoke for the first week as it builds up in your system. Slowly within that week the dose increases in your system.
Here is a brief run down of how it worked for me. First of all some people say this stuff is so bad for you. Yes, like any other medication that you take, it has side effects. DUH...it can have strong side effects, but just be aware of them and you will be FINE!!! Days 1-3 I took 1/2 a pill once a day. There was no change in the way that I smoked, how often I smoked, or when I had an urge to smoke. Days 3-5 I took 1/2 a pill 2x a day. I was slowly noticing that I was not smoking as much at all. Days 5-7 I took 1 whole pill one time a day. This is when I saw the biggest difference. I smoked about 1-3 a day vs. the usual 15-20. Just like that. Day 7-till end of prescription is 2 pills 2x a day. I did smoke one this morning. I couldn't finish it. So all together today I had 2 half ones that makes 1. It's now 10:30, and I will admit, that I would like to have some of one. However, I got some gum instead. My advice to anyone taking it, it has been said that your DR sometimes "forgets" to inform that you need to take this with a meal and plenty of water. It is important to take any medication with water and something in your stomach, it is most important with this. The water helps you dilute the pill.... otherwise you will probably get so nauseated you will just throw up.
I am a little more irritable, I can imagine that is expected. In the end I am really happy that I tried this stuff. Quitting on my own was a total bust each time. My Dr also informed me that it's really not good for your body to just quit like that. It can be too stressful. I am a little agitated right now with it being a long time since i had the last one. I know thought that with this stuff I can actually do it, and it's not as hard as I would have thought. I am putting a lot less work into it then I would have thought. It kinda does it for you. It makes the cigarettes taste so bad, you just put it out without thinking and then with a little gum and keeping busy, your pretty much set. That is the part that has been the hardest. It has been 104-110 degrees here so there is not a whole lot to do except stay in where it is cool enough to breathe.
I am confident that I will live though.... and even thinking about quitting before made me think that I was going to die without them. I think that I will pick up healthy habit. Perhaps the gym to prepare for my move to Hawaii, but that's in another blog post!
If you are thinking about quitting, I really really would suggest you give this stuff a try... might just save your life. :) GOOOOOOOODDD LUUUUUCK
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Military vs civilians in public.
Alright, so I know that it has been forever since I was able to last update. It's been pretty crazy around here. There a few topics that I want to cover since the last time I was on here. I will split them up into different categories though so it's not so crazy. The first thing I want to talk about it our last experience with a concert here on post. On June 10, 2012 we were lucky enough to have to wonderful Chris Daughtry concert here on post. It was sponsored by the Air force, which is a HUGE advantage to having an army and air force post as your home!
Though it was for the military, they also invited people from all around. More times than not, these events are for military and their families. Basically, you have to show your Military ID to get a ticket and that's how the events work. This time it was open to the public. It was also a free event. So anyone from anywhere were allowed to come on post and join the event. This is a great way to get the public into the military world for the night and see how it goes. I am not against this, usually.
So we get there with our two little ones and chairs and get seats about 4 rows from the front. Got the kids some ear plugs and sat down to wait. There is this already drunken lady behind us at 5:00. Need I say that the concert doesn't even start till 6:00, with Daughtry's appearance not till 7:00. She was loud and obnoxious since the moment that they sat down. I kept thinking that when the music starts she may just enjoy the show and stop the insane actions she seemed to not be able to control due to her drunken state. SO, the music starts with a band from the Army and then follows with a band from the Air Force. She's still pretty much acting a fool. Since we wanted to come and enjoy the concert, we tried to let it go. Her actions and word were drawing the attention of people 5 rows in front and behind at this point.
Barely into the concert, she decides to get as close to our chairs as humanly possible, and the dumps beer on Colton's chair. Missing him, but it was the principle of the matter. So I asked her nicely to please back up by her own seats as she has just spilled beer next to my little guy. She rolled her eyes and backed up. After that she was again, leaning over the kids chairs with a beer in her hand and screaming. We let it go a little bit, because she was apparently being childish and she was not going to stop anytime soon. We got some MP's (Military Police) to kinda watch her, but with thousands of people it was pretty difficult to watch just one person. I again had to remind her about half way through to please back up into her own seat. She got pissy, and told her friends, "that's twice now, who does she think she is!" Her friends told her to back up and settle down and my husband, who I thought was going to knock her on her ass any moment, went and got an MP, again. When the police got that way, she was off getting a beer. They had just missed her.
Finally, toward the end of the concert, she was as close as she could be behind my husband. I knew he was very much going to SNAP on her at any second. I didn't want to get kicked out, just because of her, so I again turned around and said "MOVE BACK, I have asked you how many times and i'm about to let the MP's because if
how immature you are acting." This set her off. She flipped her chair and tried to get all up in my face. When she got a tap on the shoulder., there was an MP right behind her. This made her more upset, because she knew I was right there and hadn't went to get them. She tried to get all up in his face. He had another MP escort her out, and asked me what was happening. I knew he was on my side, all I had to say was a few of the things she was doing like almost spilled beer on my son, and was all up our seats and screaming. I get that this is a concert, and that we should all be cheering and having a good time, but she was just being way out of control with the whole thing.
She was quickly escorted out, and asked to not come back. The Gate guards were also informed that she was WAY drunk and to make sure she wasn't driving herself. I'm not sure if she got busted for DUI or not, nor did I care. SO the third lady that was with them was able to stay for a little while as the other two were previously removed. She came up and asked me "why did you do that, What did she do that's so bad!" I said "well she is being totally ridiculous and immature.... spilling beer on a baby is a little much!" All this lady had to say was "Yeah, at a concert!!!!" OOOOOHHHHHH I get it now, You can act like a dumb ass and be disrespectful to people when you are at a concert. HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS! Gee, if I was informed of this sooner, I would have excused her stupid actions! NOOOTTTT!!!
Let me set the record straight, this concert was for military and their families. It was opened to the public so that it had a nice outcome and a way for the military to give back to the civilians within the community. Being it's a military event, it was a family event. She kept commenting about how I had my kids there. Well, they had every right to go! They are military kids and this is a military concert. They had ear plugs and chairs and plenty of water. They were beyond alright there. If I didn't think it was safe I would have left them at home.
As the end result, it left me wondering about how it only seems to be the civilians that cause an issue like this at these events. I have nothing against civilians, guess what, I am a civilian too! I mean more like those that are not affiliated with the military but just happen to live near a post. Here is my conclusion. People who are family members of military member, or military members act half ass decent, because half of them have brought their families with to share this, and the other half know if they mess up, their ass is screwed by their higher ups the next duty day. They were taught discipline and respect, and everyone in is civilian clothes. Some commander or Brigade Commander could be sitting right behind you! Aside from that, Military spouse's reflect their husbands. We act appropriately in hopes that we do not draw attention to our husbands and their careers with how we act. (Most of them anyways) The people with no military affiliation could care less. I would have let her actions go if she was not in my families way the whole entire time. This was a Daughtry concert not a kiss concert! Act like it. Making the peace sign high above my families head while screaming "FUCK YEAH" is a little bit much.
So in the end I want to say "Thank You" to the man and his family who where sitting behind this lady, and saw the whole thing the whole concert. He is the man that went and got the MP that caught her ready to flip out on me. Which I must say, I would have enjoyed to smack her back should she have hit me... I was that mad, but not with my kids around. Once she was kicked out, him and his family stood instantly behind me to make sure no other looney came around. The wife helped me the kids a little bit while I waited for Dave to come back from letting the guards know that she was not allowed back in.
By the end of the night, we were all laughing about it, though it ruined a portion of the concert for us, we were able to make the best out of it. Next time I will not wait as long to get people like this kicked out. I mean she claimed to be the biggest fan.... but because of her actions, she wasn't able to watch the whole thing. To bad, so sad. I didn't feel a bit bad after all she had done.
Hopefully this is the only time we have to deal with this situation, and people learn to be a little more respectful at these events!
Until then..... F U stupid obnoxious drunk concert lady!
Though it was for the military, they also invited people from all around. More times than not, these events are for military and their families. Basically, you have to show your Military ID to get a ticket and that's how the events work. This time it was open to the public. It was also a free event. So anyone from anywhere were allowed to come on post and join the event. This is a great way to get the public into the military world for the night and see how it goes. I am not against this, usually.
So we get there with our two little ones and chairs and get seats about 4 rows from the front. Got the kids some ear plugs and sat down to wait. There is this already drunken lady behind us at 5:00. Need I say that the concert doesn't even start till 6:00, with Daughtry's appearance not till 7:00. She was loud and obnoxious since the moment that they sat down. I kept thinking that when the music starts she may just enjoy the show and stop the insane actions she seemed to not be able to control due to her drunken state. SO, the music starts with a band from the Army and then follows with a band from the Air Force. She's still pretty much acting a fool. Since we wanted to come and enjoy the concert, we tried to let it go. Her actions and word were drawing the attention of people 5 rows in front and behind at this point.
Barely into the concert, she decides to get as close to our chairs as humanly possible, and the dumps beer on Colton's chair. Missing him, but it was the principle of the matter. So I asked her nicely to please back up by her own seats as she has just spilled beer next to my little guy. She rolled her eyes and backed up. After that she was again, leaning over the kids chairs with a beer in her hand and screaming. We let it go a little bit, because she was apparently being childish and she was not going to stop anytime soon. We got some MP's (Military Police) to kinda watch her, but with thousands of people it was pretty difficult to watch just one person. I again had to remind her about half way through to please back up into her own seat. She got pissy, and told her friends, "that's twice now, who does she think she is!" Her friends told her to back up and settle down and my husband, who I thought was going to knock her on her ass any moment, went and got an MP, again. When the police got that way, she was off getting a beer. They had just missed her.
Finally, toward the end of the concert, she was as close as she could be behind my husband. I knew he was very much going to SNAP on her at any second. I didn't want to get kicked out, just because of her, so I again turned around and said "MOVE BACK, I have asked you how many times and i'm about to let the MP's because if
how immature you are acting." This set her off. She flipped her chair and tried to get all up in my face. When she got a tap on the shoulder., there was an MP right behind her. This made her more upset, because she knew I was right there and hadn't went to get them. She tried to get all up in his face. He had another MP escort her out, and asked me what was happening. I knew he was on my side, all I had to say was a few of the things she was doing like almost spilled beer on my son, and was all up our seats and screaming. I get that this is a concert, and that we should all be cheering and having a good time, but she was just being way out of control with the whole thing.
She was quickly escorted out, and asked to not come back. The Gate guards were also informed that she was WAY drunk and to make sure she wasn't driving herself. I'm not sure if she got busted for DUI or not, nor did I care. SO the third lady that was with them was able to stay for a little while as the other two were previously removed. She came up and asked me "why did you do that, What did she do that's so bad!" I said "well she is being totally ridiculous and immature.... spilling beer on a baby is a little much!" All this lady had to say was "Yeah, at a concert!!!!" OOOOOHHHHHH I get it now, You can act like a dumb ass and be disrespectful to people when you are at a concert. HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS! Gee, if I was informed of this sooner, I would have excused her stupid actions! NOOOTTTT!!!
Let me set the record straight, this concert was for military and their families. It was opened to the public so that it had a nice outcome and a way for the military to give back to the civilians within the community. Being it's a military event, it was a family event. She kept commenting about how I had my kids there. Well, they had every right to go! They are military kids and this is a military concert. They had ear plugs and chairs and plenty of water. They were beyond alright there. If I didn't think it was safe I would have left them at home.
As the end result, it left me wondering about how it only seems to be the civilians that cause an issue like this at these events. I have nothing against civilians, guess what, I am a civilian too! I mean more like those that are not affiliated with the military but just happen to live near a post. Here is my conclusion. People who are family members of military member, or military members act half ass decent, because half of them have brought their families with to share this, and the other half know if they mess up, their ass is screwed by their higher ups the next duty day. They were taught discipline and respect, and everyone in is civilian clothes. Some commander or Brigade Commander could be sitting right behind you! Aside from that, Military spouse's reflect their husbands. We act appropriately in hopes that we do not draw attention to our husbands and their careers with how we act. (Most of them anyways) The people with no military affiliation could care less. I would have let her actions go if she was not in my families way the whole entire time. This was a Daughtry concert not a kiss concert! Act like it. Making the peace sign high above my families head while screaming "FUCK YEAH" is a little bit much.
So in the end I want to say "Thank You" to the man and his family who where sitting behind this lady, and saw the whole thing the whole concert. He is the man that went and got the MP that caught her ready to flip out on me. Which I must say, I would have enjoyed to smack her back should she have hit me... I was that mad, but not with my kids around. Once she was kicked out, him and his family stood instantly behind me to make sure no other looney came around. The wife helped me the kids a little bit while I waited for Dave to come back from letting the guards know that she was not allowed back in.
By the end of the night, we were all laughing about it, though it ruined a portion of the concert for us, we were able to make the best out of it. Next time I will not wait as long to get people like this kicked out. I mean she claimed to be the biggest fan.... but because of her actions, she wasn't able to watch the whole thing. To bad, so sad. I didn't feel a bit bad after all she had done.
Hopefully this is the only time we have to deal with this situation, and people learn to be a little more respectful at these events!
Until then..... F U stupid obnoxious drunk concert lady!
Friday, April 20, 2012
I was asked the other day....
There is a close friend of mine that is working on a project for the Army Wives. She asked for my participation and I read into what she wanted from me. A picture of you, basic information, and ...... Advice or a quote I would share with other military wives. I have started thinking about what it is I would share with another spouse. When I think about this question, I don't freeze up, I don't draw a blank. In fact, I can't seem to find the end of the things I would share.
So I started to think about how I can cram everything into a little bit of writing. I came to the conclusion, that it will not be easy, but I will share the important things that I know, and put the rest here.
If a new spouse came to be and asked me to share with her what I know and advice, I would need to make a pot of coffee, and say this:
You have to give up a lot of yourself, and the life that you once knew is no more. You reflect your husband, so your mistakes are now his. Not everyone is cut out for this lifestyle. It is in no way an easy task to be a successful military wife. Surround yourself with your new "family." Your family back home is still and always will be your family. However, they can not come running when you and the kids are sick, or when you need help. This is what those wonderful ladies around you will help you with. Most often times, without you even asking! The army doesn't care about the plans you made for the weekend, they are going to the field and there is nothing you can do about it. Be prepared for that to happen more than one time. Rank is something that your soldier earns and wears, not you. Your rank is "wife" nothing more and nothing less. Though some people have yet to figure this out, we are all in the same situation. No one is better than the next no matter what your husband does at work. Deployments seem like the end of the world more times than not. There is no secret to get through the rough times, except to know who you can count on and stay as busy as possible. We planned things as often as we could to pass the time and days as fast as possible. Sleepover, potlucks, coffee, dinner out, movies, playdates, park days..... WINE IS YOUR BEST FRIEND (except for the people that bring you wine, there now your best friends ;) Not all days are great. Neither are all duty stations. Make the very best out of what you have, or I can promise you, you will be miserable! Eventually, after you have gotten as close as you can to your "army family", someone will be leaving. It's never good-bye... always see you later. You can't take your friends with you when you have to leave. Once again you have no say in when you leave either. You are on the military's time now. FRG's are not always what people think they will be, but I can say that I met the most people becoming a part of it than I did on my own. Try it at least once. Take time for you when the kids are sleeping. Time to relax and do something that you want to do. You can get 16 free hours of childcare a month while your soldier is deployed (I think that goes for all posts) USE IT.... ITS FREE 100%, and even if you think you don't, you not only need it, but deserve it. Macaroni and cheese is a totally acceptable dinner during deployments. The most important thing is to find your inner strength and independence. Hold your head high because you are part of an elite force of wives!
There is so much more.. I think that I could go forever. I think this might be the basics of it. That's my advice.... Just keep going is all you can do
"you don't know how strong you are, until being strong is the only option that you have"
So I started to think about how I can cram everything into a little bit of writing. I came to the conclusion, that it will not be easy, but I will share the important things that I know, and put the rest here.
If a new spouse came to be and asked me to share with her what I know and advice, I would need to make a pot of coffee, and say this:
You have to give up a lot of yourself, and the life that you once knew is no more. You reflect your husband, so your mistakes are now his. Not everyone is cut out for this lifestyle. It is in no way an easy task to be a successful military wife. Surround yourself with your new "family." Your family back home is still and always will be your family. However, they can not come running when you and the kids are sick, or when you need help. This is what those wonderful ladies around you will help you with. Most often times, without you even asking! The army doesn't care about the plans you made for the weekend, they are going to the field and there is nothing you can do about it. Be prepared for that to happen more than one time. Rank is something that your soldier earns and wears, not you. Your rank is "wife" nothing more and nothing less. Though some people have yet to figure this out, we are all in the same situation. No one is better than the next no matter what your husband does at work. Deployments seem like the end of the world more times than not. There is no secret to get through the rough times, except to know who you can count on and stay as busy as possible. We planned things as often as we could to pass the time and days as fast as possible. Sleepover, potlucks, coffee, dinner out, movies, playdates, park days..... WINE IS YOUR BEST FRIEND (except for the people that bring you wine, there now your best friends ;) Not all days are great. Neither are all duty stations. Make the very best out of what you have, or I can promise you, you will be miserable! Eventually, after you have gotten as close as you can to your "army family", someone will be leaving. It's never good-bye... always see you later. You can't take your friends with you when you have to leave. Once again you have no say in when you leave either. You are on the military's time now. FRG's are not always what people think they will be, but I can say that I met the most people becoming a part of it than I did on my own. Try it at least once. Take time for you when the kids are sleeping. Time to relax and do something that you want to do. You can get 16 free hours of childcare a month while your soldier is deployed (I think that goes for all posts) USE IT.... ITS FREE 100%, and even if you think you don't, you not only need it, but deserve it. Macaroni and cheese is a totally acceptable dinner during deployments. The most important thing is to find your inner strength and independence. Hold your head high because you are part of an elite force of wives!
There is so much more.. I think that I could go forever. I think this might be the basics of it. That's my advice.... Just keep going is all you can do
"you don't know how strong you are, until being strong is the only option that you have"
Friday, April 13, 2012
Appreciation.... or lack of
Kids these days..... what happened to them. I know I was probably no angel as a child.... in fact I know wasn't. It seems like most kids around here live up to the name "army brat" This INCLUDES my kids. They are polite, kind and well mannered when they want to be. But, there are many times that I am shocked at some of the things that come out of their mouths. Sometimes I wonder if they appreciate anything that they are given.
This is something that I should be teaching them. Where did I go wrong? Maybe to them they don't see me earning anything because I don't work other than at home. I assume they dont think they are a job in itself. Maybe it's because when the guys are gone it's so easy to give into your kids so that they will just be quiet and listen from time to time. Maybe it's because I try to compensate for their dad being gone and not having family here with them, that I feel bad.
I am in no way saying that my kids are bad kids. They just don't understand that concept of enjoying what is around you. I like to think this is a product of their culture and the way the world is today. People always want want want, and when they get what they want, they want more or better. Everything is like a worldwide competition. We complain about money, cars, jobs, people...... can you really complain if you do the same things? I am not pointing fingers, I do this too.
This is not how I want my life to be lived, or something that I want my kids to continue. So there is only one solution..... From now on this family is going to start appreciating and respecting what it has. The things in our homes, the people in our lives, the weather, and anything else. My kids are great with their manners so thats a good starting point. From today on, things in this house will be earned.
I have decided to get them each a piggy bank and when they do things they are asked to do to help out they can earn change that way. They can buy their own toys and learn the value of money that way. My kids may not know it, but the things that we have took us a long time to get, and I sometimes think that they need a better understanding of how the world really is.
I know that I also complain a lot about people and things... money, and my health.... But I am going to try and not do that anymore. We don't have to be the "army family" that people have labeled that life style to be with the :army Brats" in fact we are not going to be.
I will start to find the beauty in things rather than the ugly things. Appreciating people that appreciate me in return, taking advantage of the nice weather....
It's easy to complain when you are a military family. Complain about the clinics, the drs, the staff at places, the lack of things, the time it takes to get anything done, the deployments, the fact that you are alone to live life for a year, the way the army takes the people you got close to and moves them across the U.S, the commissary on payday, the distance between you and your family, the long hours your spouse works, blah blah blah.
There are great things that you get to experience in this life and we are going to get to those things from now on. I get to have my kids with me all the time, and watch them grow and learn and turn into little independent people. I have the chance to go to school and learn and grow myself. Nothing is greater than that really. That is true beauty.
This is something that I should be teaching them. Where did I go wrong? Maybe to them they don't see me earning anything because I don't work other than at home. I assume they dont think they are a job in itself. Maybe it's because when the guys are gone it's so easy to give into your kids so that they will just be quiet and listen from time to time. Maybe it's because I try to compensate for their dad being gone and not having family here with them, that I feel bad.
I am in no way saying that my kids are bad kids. They just don't understand that concept of enjoying what is around you. I like to think this is a product of their culture and the way the world is today. People always want want want, and when they get what they want, they want more or better. Everything is like a worldwide competition. We complain about money, cars, jobs, people...... can you really complain if you do the same things? I am not pointing fingers, I do this too.
This is not how I want my life to be lived, or something that I want my kids to continue. So there is only one solution..... From now on this family is going to start appreciating and respecting what it has. The things in our homes, the people in our lives, the weather, and anything else. My kids are great with their manners so thats a good starting point. From today on, things in this house will be earned.
I have decided to get them each a piggy bank and when they do things they are asked to do to help out they can earn change that way. They can buy their own toys and learn the value of money that way. My kids may not know it, but the things that we have took us a long time to get, and I sometimes think that they need a better understanding of how the world really is.
I know that I also complain a lot about people and things... money, and my health.... But I am going to try and not do that anymore. We don't have to be the "army family" that people have labeled that life style to be with the :army Brats" in fact we are not going to be.
I will start to find the beauty in things rather than the ugly things. Appreciating people that appreciate me in return, taking advantage of the nice weather....
It's easy to complain when you are a military family. Complain about the clinics, the drs, the staff at places, the lack of things, the time it takes to get anything done, the deployments, the fact that you are alone to live life for a year, the way the army takes the people you got close to and moves them across the U.S, the commissary on payday, the distance between you and your family, the long hours your spouse works, blah blah blah.
There are great things that you get to experience in this life and we are going to get to those things from now on. I get to have my kids with me all the time, and watch them grow and learn and turn into little independent people. I have the chance to go to school and learn and grow myself. Nothing is greater than that really. That is true beauty.
Monday, April 9, 2012
Learning another path of Army life
It has been almost 3 years since we moved here to Fort Riley, and started this roller coaster ride we call "army life." In that time, I have met some of the most amazing people, and now I call them family. They are more like family than I could have ever imagined they would be. We were very fortunate to come to this unit as much as we were really worried about Kansas, and what we would do in the boring old state. A state that was not home. The first time that we were ever away from home. To add to it, I had 2 young kids in tote. Kids I would have to learn to have more patience with, and learn to do more on my own than I did back home. In short, I had very little time to learn independence. It was a lot like going to a foreign country and not knowing anyone or anything, but you knew no matter what you had no other options.
I learned very quickly to make the best of what I had, and that was the best choice I could have made. When I started to meet people, it didn't take long before there were a number of us that hung out more times than not. They were there for me in times that I used to need family for. We all learned about each others past present and future. No one judged, we just talked and shared stories, wine and food. Birthdays, holidays, long weekends... they were all an excuse to all get together and hang out. Something that we all need from time to time.
These are ladies that know more about me than I sometimes know about myself. We made it through a deployment holding hands and standing tall. A support system for one another. Our kids have grown close and have become part of eachother's lives as well.
Now, after a deployment, field trainings, NTC, late nights at work, holidays alone, birthdays without our real families, and everything in between, we have all bonded together so tight. Without hesitation they are ladies that I call when I need help, advice or someone to listen. To know that when I need some help they will be there and expect nothing in return, except that I am there for them when they need something.
I was just thinking about how we all came so close, and never talked about the day that might take us away in the future. We never talked about where we wanted to go next. I think we all forgot that someday there would be an end. Now..... that time is coming very quickly, and I don't know what it will be like watching so many of these great people leave in a short amount of time. In the past it was day to day and there was not talk about the future PCSing that was coming. We all knew when the deployment was over that this was going to happen, but it was never as real as it is now. We are all aware that this is all part of the lifestyle, but I don't think that this will ever get any easier no matter how long we are in the army.
I feel like we are on the countdown now. Something I have never had to do before. I feel like there is now an end, and this summer will be like no other that I have ever had before. It will be hard. These will still always be my first "army ladies" and the ones that taught me all that I know now. I hope that we remain close. It won't be the same though. There not up the road when we want to hang out.
I hope all these ladies are prepared for a glass of wine on skype once in awhile, I don't care if it's your morning or not.
So here is to another new experiance in the Army life. At least most of us are doing it together once again. I am sure that in the future I will meet many more great people, but no one will compare to my fort riley chicks! So here is to future, and hoping that it as fulfilling as it has been for me here. I hope that you find new friends, but never forget the ones that are here or where here. So many memories have been made here that i don't think any of us could ever forget. I feel like no matter where we end up in the future, I will always be comparing everything to the people and events that I have here now. Future army friends...... you have a whole SHIT load of competition LOL
I LOVE YOU LADIES
I learned very quickly to make the best of what I had, and that was the best choice I could have made. When I started to meet people, it didn't take long before there were a number of us that hung out more times than not. They were there for me in times that I used to need family for. We all learned about each others past present and future. No one judged, we just talked and shared stories, wine and food. Birthdays, holidays, long weekends... they were all an excuse to all get together and hang out. Something that we all need from time to time.
These are ladies that know more about me than I sometimes know about myself. We made it through a deployment holding hands and standing tall. A support system for one another. Our kids have grown close and have become part of eachother's lives as well.
Now, after a deployment, field trainings, NTC, late nights at work, holidays alone, birthdays without our real families, and everything in between, we have all bonded together so tight. Without hesitation they are ladies that I call when I need help, advice or someone to listen. To know that when I need some help they will be there and expect nothing in return, except that I am there for them when they need something.
I was just thinking about how we all came so close, and never talked about the day that might take us away in the future. We never talked about where we wanted to go next. I think we all forgot that someday there would be an end. Now..... that time is coming very quickly, and I don't know what it will be like watching so many of these great people leave in a short amount of time. In the past it was day to day and there was not talk about the future PCSing that was coming. We all knew when the deployment was over that this was going to happen, but it was never as real as it is now. We are all aware that this is all part of the lifestyle, but I don't think that this will ever get any easier no matter how long we are in the army.
I feel like we are on the countdown now. Something I have never had to do before. I feel like there is now an end, and this summer will be like no other that I have ever had before. It will be hard. These will still always be my first "army ladies" and the ones that taught me all that I know now. I hope that we remain close. It won't be the same though. There not up the road when we want to hang out.
I hope all these ladies are prepared for a glass of wine on skype once in awhile, I don't care if it's your morning or not.
So here is to another new experiance in the Army life. At least most of us are doing it together once again. I am sure that in the future I will meet many more great people, but no one will compare to my fort riley chicks! So here is to future, and hoping that it as fulfilling as it has been for me here. I hope that you find new friends, but never forget the ones that are here or where here. So many memories have been made here that i don't think any of us could ever forget. I feel like no matter where we end up in the future, I will always be comparing everything to the people and events that I have here now. Future army friends...... you have a whole SHIT load of competition LOL
I LOVE YOU LADIES
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
I'm....... P-R-O-U-D!
I seem to put a lot of people before myself... their feelings, needs...etc.... It doesn't bother me, because when I know that I have made someone smile, I smile with satisfaction. That is all that I need, and that's just who I am. Telling people no is my weakness. If I was a superhero that would be the death of me. I don't like doing it, and more times than not, I can't. It ends up hurting me more than anything but I move on quickly because of all the experience. I spend less time on me than anyone..... I try to say that I am going to do something to better me, and it lasts a very short time. That's just who I am and I am alright with that.. After all no one can be me....better than myself :)
It took a few WONDERFUL people to show me that there are things that I need to do for me... starting with my GED.... I have been putting it off forever (like 6 years) All it took was a couple people that returned the favor and cared enough to help and push me to do it. Those are people I will always be in debt to, and people that I will always have close to me :)
In the last couple weeks, in the mist of doing the daily things (laundry, cleaning, kids etc...) I thought about all the things I might be able to do, if I learned self discipline. I first had to learn that it was not always about the other people that believe in me, but that first I had to believe in myself. So for about two weeks that is what I have been doing.
I did it without really thinking about all that I have accomplished.... But then I was sitting here the other night and was a little shocked at myself. So here is the list of things that I did, things I don't do on a daily basis
~Started a routine to remember all my medication ALL THE TIME (it's not really that helpful when you are always forgetting a dose or two!)
~I started tracking my diet and eating better... (still have a little work to do one this one...so for now it's a work in progress)
~Started working out EVERYDAY sometimes 2x a day. This is something that has been constant!
~ I cut HUGELY back on my coffee and soda daily intake. What I used to drink in a day, I now drink in about a week. I never drank water, and now it's bottle after bottle!
~I have accomplished night and day 2 of NO SIPPY CUPS for the kids. (this is actually for me as well. No more waking up in the middle of the night to fill them..I finally sleep through the WHOLE night. First time since I had Colton. Plus they are a pain in the day too.)
~ Started to potty train Colton (NO MORE DIAPERS for me pretty soon!!!)
~I enrolled in College and start at a Business School on the 29th!!!!
~ Took a "me" day with a girlfriend in Topeka....and had a blast and not a care in the world :) A-MAZING!!!!
Maybe none of this seems like much. I just feel like I have done more for me in 2 weeks than I have in like 4 years. It was a good feeling...a little guilty at times, but GOOD to do me for a little while. As I reflected back on all this, I smiled.... and said WOW, i am proud of it all!!! I have to say with all honesty that I have never actually said that to myself or felt the way that I did at that moment.
In the end, do you for a change. Making other people happy is a fantastic thing, but when you can look back and be proud of you, it's bittersweet! In a few years, I probably won't remember it, but it is really a HUGE boost of confidence. The fact that I am not scared anymore of what an outcome might be or where a road might lead. I know that no matter what I can smile and overcome... Even if it takes a little boost from other people. I really do hope that those that have helped so much know how awesome it was to have them there for me, and how much it impacted so much more!!!!
I DARE you to do something that you have been scared to do... it might change more than you think !
It took a few WONDERFUL people to show me that there are things that I need to do for me... starting with my GED.... I have been putting it off forever (like 6 years) All it took was a couple people that returned the favor and cared enough to help and push me to do it. Those are people I will always be in debt to, and people that I will always have close to me :)
In the last couple weeks, in the mist of doing the daily things (laundry, cleaning, kids etc...) I thought about all the things I might be able to do, if I learned self discipline. I first had to learn that it was not always about the other people that believe in me, but that first I had to believe in myself. So for about two weeks that is what I have been doing.
I did it without really thinking about all that I have accomplished.... But then I was sitting here the other night and was a little shocked at myself. So here is the list of things that I did, things I don't do on a daily basis
~Started a routine to remember all my medication ALL THE TIME (it's not really that helpful when you are always forgetting a dose or two!)
~I started tracking my diet and eating better... (still have a little work to do one this one...so for now it's a work in progress)
~Started working out EVERYDAY sometimes 2x a day. This is something that has been constant!
~ I cut HUGELY back on my coffee and soda daily intake. What I used to drink in a day, I now drink in about a week. I never drank water, and now it's bottle after bottle!
~I have accomplished night and day 2 of NO SIPPY CUPS for the kids. (this is actually for me as well. No more waking up in the middle of the night to fill them..I finally sleep through the WHOLE night. First time since I had Colton. Plus they are a pain in the day too.)
~ Started to potty train Colton (NO MORE DIAPERS for me pretty soon!!!)
~I enrolled in College and start at a Business School on the 29th!!!!
~ Took a "me" day with a girlfriend in Topeka....and had a blast and not a care in the world :) A-MAZING!!!!
Maybe none of this seems like much. I just feel like I have done more for me in 2 weeks than I have in like 4 years. It was a good feeling...a little guilty at times, but GOOD to do me for a little while. As I reflected back on all this, I smiled.... and said WOW, i am proud of it all!!! I have to say with all honesty that I have never actually said that to myself or felt the way that I did at that moment.
In the end, do you for a change. Making other people happy is a fantastic thing, but when you can look back and be proud of you, it's bittersweet! In a few years, I probably won't remember it, but it is really a HUGE boost of confidence. The fact that I am not scared anymore of what an outcome might be or where a road might lead. I know that no matter what I can smile and overcome... Even if it takes a little boost from other people. I really do hope that those that have helped so much know how awesome it was to have them there for me, and how much it impacted so much more!!!!
I DARE you to do something that you have been scared to do... it might change more than you think !
Friday, February 3, 2012
Better Than I Used to Be....
I know that not everyone listens to country, but I do.... all the time. There is this newer song, called "better than I used to be." I listen to it often, and I LOVE it. Every last word of it is soooo true. (Except where he says "I can finally stand the man in the mirror I see." Because I have never seen a MAN when I look in the mirror hehe) Here are the lyrics.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WO0keYA21oI
I don't think that this is a song that Only I can relate to. It's a pretty universal song for those people out there that are not, nor have never been perfect. It is a perfect reflection on how people can grow and learn even from the worst pasts. Regardless of if you want to admit it or not, no one has went their whole life and never hurt someone, or made a mistake or 50000.
I am not perfect. I am also perfectly happy with the fact, that I will never be. I have learned that being perfect is the silliest goal in life to have. No matter who you are, if that is your goal in life.... you will never get there. Sorry to crush all your hopes and dreams. There will always be someone with nicer things, more money, a better house, a newer car, a better job, better looks, skinnier figure, blah blah blah. So why bother. If you strive to be perfect, you are no longer yourself, you are someone else. Waist of time.
There is a difference in realizing and accepting that you will never be perfect, and deciding that you are going to be dumb about it and never learn and change as life around you changes. EVERYONE chances. More times than I can count, I have been hurt by people that I trusted the most. That is the way life goes. Most people will not see things the way that I see them. Most people will not be impacted by things that I might be heavily impacted by. I can not depend on other people to pick me up when I fall. That's my job. It is their job to be there when I need to talk and need advice. In the end my life is just that.....MINE. No one can tell me who I should be or HAVE to be.
People are going to hurt people that you care about, you are going to hurt people that you care about, and people that you care about will hurt you. Life is tough..... can't handle it?..... Get a helmet! In the end you can't control anyones thoughts or actions,except your own
On the flip side, it can be really hard to let people who you cared deeply about, go. You learn who is real and fake and in doing so you have to let some of them go. It's hard because you still want them to be, who you thought they were all this time.
Our pasts and those people who we let go mold us. They teach us little life lessons about things, people, and feelings. They sometimes show you how to find the good inside you and sometimes some of them teach you exactly how you DONT ever want to be. In this song, you hear about how your better, but not the best. You will always have a challenge a head of you and sometimes you need help to fight those demands. You hear about no matter how much you screwed up in the past, or someone screwed you, you get a little stronger.
I don't always feel stronger after something or someone leaves my life. Even if they made a positive impact. I don't always feel like i am ready to let them go. And sometimes they don't leave you a choice.
Take the chance to get to know everyone around you. Some may burn you and some may help you. Either way, you learn something from everyone no matter what the lesson may be. Don't judge by the past. Learn about people from who they are now. Help eachother grow and learn. If you stay friends forever you'll be as close as can be. If not, you both have learned something from eachother. Everyday Is a new day and a chance to learn!!!!! Everyone around you had something to teach you, even when they don't know it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WO0keYA21oI
I don't think that this is a song that Only I can relate to. It's a pretty universal song for those people out there that are not, nor have never been perfect. It is a perfect reflection on how people can grow and learn even from the worst pasts. Regardless of if you want to admit it or not, no one has went their whole life and never hurt someone, or made a mistake or 50000.
I am not perfect. I am also perfectly happy with the fact, that I will never be. I have learned that being perfect is the silliest goal in life to have. No matter who you are, if that is your goal in life.... you will never get there. Sorry to crush all your hopes and dreams. There will always be someone with nicer things, more money, a better house, a newer car, a better job, better looks, skinnier figure, blah blah blah. So why bother. If you strive to be perfect, you are no longer yourself, you are someone else. Waist of time.
There is a difference in realizing and accepting that you will never be perfect, and deciding that you are going to be dumb about it and never learn and change as life around you changes. EVERYONE chances. More times than I can count, I have been hurt by people that I trusted the most. That is the way life goes. Most people will not see things the way that I see them. Most people will not be impacted by things that I might be heavily impacted by. I can not depend on other people to pick me up when I fall. That's my job. It is their job to be there when I need to talk and need advice. In the end my life is just that.....MINE. No one can tell me who I should be or HAVE to be.
People are going to hurt people that you care about, you are going to hurt people that you care about, and people that you care about will hurt you. Life is tough..... can't handle it?..... Get a helmet! In the end you can't control anyones thoughts or actions,except your own
On the flip side, it can be really hard to let people who you cared deeply about, go. You learn who is real and fake and in doing so you have to let some of them go. It's hard because you still want them to be, who you thought they were all this time.
Our pasts and those people who we let go mold us. They teach us little life lessons about things, people, and feelings. They sometimes show you how to find the good inside you and sometimes some of them teach you exactly how you DONT ever want to be. In this song, you hear about how your better, but not the best. You will always have a challenge a head of you and sometimes you need help to fight those demands. You hear about no matter how much you screwed up in the past, or someone screwed you, you get a little stronger.
I don't always feel stronger after something or someone leaves my life. Even if they made a positive impact. I don't always feel like i am ready to let them go. And sometimes they don't leave you a choice.
Take the chance to get to know everyone around you. Some may burn you and some may help you. Either way, you learn something from everyone no matter what the lesson may be. Don't judge by the past. Learn about people from who they are now. Help eachother grow and learn. If you stay friends forever you'll be as close as can be. If not, you both have learned something from eachother. Everyday Is a new day and a chance to learn!!!!! Everyone around you had something to teach you, even when they don't know it.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Ever Wonder....????
I know that I am again slacking on the blogging. I have no excuse really, except that I feel like I have had a hard time figuring out my own head, little lone trying to get it all into writing. Deployment has been over for a month now, and all I can really say about it for now is, its different. I know that the boys are most definitely happy to have daddy home though and that alone makes me smile. I know that a year is a long time, but to them I am certain it felt like an eternity.
Lately, I have spent a lot of time asking myself a whole lot of questions that all go unanswered. Most people think a lot about their future and where they want to go in life. It wasn't that long ago, I thought I knew. However, that dream, that was a reality for a short time, is no longer there. So now things in my head make me wonder what I did to make it the way it is now, and how to deal with it seems harder than ever.
I know that I am not the only one that wonders what purpose it is they serve in this complicated world. I sort of thought that I had figured that out as well, but it's not so. SO now what. Basically when you get down to it all, you start to wonder where you wanna go and what you wanna do forever. When will you find what and who you are.
It's hard to not know who you are suppose to be. I know that I would rather have one person love me for who I really am, than have everyone love me for who I am not. At the same time, if you are to kind, you become a welcome mat very easily. If your to mean, no one likes you or pretends to, and that's no fun either. So where is the balance? No, I am not looking to please everyone. There are people that I KNOW use me, and I still answer the phone when they call. Knowing full well that they only want something. More times than not, I am actually alright with that,because in the end, I still helped someone and to me that gives me satisfaction in knowing that I made even a small difference. Other times, I wind up getting mad at my own self, wondering why it is I continue to do it, when I know that the out-come will never change. It's a lot like smashing your face into the nearest wall over and over again. You know how it's going to feel, and yet you keep doing it. Clearly not the smartest thing in the world.
Sometimes, it's harder than you think to find out who the REAL people in your life are. Sometimes, all it takes is needing a little help or a small event in life for people to show you their true colors. Other times it's a lot more complicated than that. Sometimes, it seems they just stop caring, replace you(because they really never cared in the first place), or were fake from the start. Either way is always going to be hurtful. It's only those that never really cared that it doesn't hurt. That seems to hurt the most. Thinking you were SO important to someone and then WHAM..... HAHA just kidding! REALLY?!?!
I have gotten really good at hiding how I feel about things, and hiding my emotions, but that doesn't mean that I don't have them. Doesn't mean that they are not there, and it doesn't mean that I am not always dealing with them. Fighting with them. I don't cry in front of people very often. I don't know why. I don't want people to feel obligated to try and help me...or think that they are this really awkward situation that makes them not know what to do I guess. On the other end, It doesn't bother me at all when people cry in front of me. I don't always know what to do about it, but usually instinct helps me know the things to say and the things to do. Aside from that, when I say it, i mean it. It wasn't something I said to make you stop crying or hurting. Sometimes I have a hard time believing that people are telling me what they really think, and just trying to make me shut the hell up already.
What I keep coming back to is that I have trust issues. Like everyone else, im tired of getting burned by people. There is really only 2 people that know the majority of things in my life and how I REALLY feel about them. Now when others ask, I don't lie to them, I just dance around it and smile, or change the subject. It's easier that way. To many people knowing all of me scares me. Because, what I was or did 2,3,4,5 years ago is not who I am now. Too many people are quick to judge. I am usually willing to share my stories when someone I know is going through something similar, but not just outta the blue. If that makes any sense.
Do you ever look at someone that you are friends with and wonder how "THIS" friendship will end? I do sometimes. Or look at them and wonder what they "WANT" from you? I do that too. No i don't sit around and plot how to end friendships. Just seems like so many come and go and you can't help but wonder if you just drift apart or if it'll be a grand departure with drama and all. I can't blame everyone for all this either. I know that I have caused my share of drama, and I know that I have not always been great at keeping in touch, and more than once I have not been the greatest friend to some. I'm in NO WAY an angel! Anyone who knows me, knows this is a FACT!
I am starting to learn that a REAL TRUE HONEST friend, will always be there when you call, pick you up when you fall, encourage you to do things even you don't think you can do, check on you often to see how you are and what's been going on, will listen to your feelings, and take out all the time needed to help you when times are tough for you. THOSE are the ones that you hold on to. I know I can count on one hand how many of those I have. Doesn't mean that I don't like my other friends to. I just have a hard time trusting people. I mean in reality I live in an army community and someone somewhere always seems to have something to say. Including me, I have had my own opinions of people around me as well. I AM HUMAN TOO!
I just don't want to loose the real ones that I have, and I need them to know that I am here for them just as much as they have been there for me too! I know there will come a time when we all leave Kansas and make new friends. It's those few people though that no matter what, will have a VERY close place in my heart, and those are the people that I will still talk to as often as possible. I will still listen to all their problems, it will just be harder than walking down the street. Finding people like that to have in your life is hard enough. You could spent the rest of your life looking for more people like that. So why not do your best to hold onto the ones that you have now?
Lately my brain just doesn't stop and I could go back and forth all day and night wondering how things messed up so bad, why I feel like I do, why I do the things I do, why people act the way they do, what in life i did to deserve some of the things I have had to go through, how I can fix certain things, what to say to certain people, and even what I wanna be when I grow up. My brain lately just keeps going and going and now I think it needs a shut off switch. Lucky for me they have prescribed me the lortab for my muscle and joint pain, to help me sleep. That stuff somewhat shuts my brain off. I lay and think for awhile, and then just passout. I know there are things that i will never know the answer to and, when I know how, I will deal with them one by one.
Being strong is not at all easy, and it's not something that I can do all the time, but when being strong is your only option, you learn to do it the best you can. No matter how you look at it, I am still a female, I still have emotions. I am still human and have feelings, and just because I come from a place where the girls hunt, fish, 4wheel, and drive trucks in mud, doesn't change that I am still a girl. I still hurt like any other girl would.... We all just deal with things differently.
People are quick to realize that girls (most def. the younger ones) think that they have to be the most beautiful thing on the outside. It's because of the magazines, and television that they think that way. It's not often that you can find someone that will tell you beauty is on the inside. Even if that's true, it seems like less and less people actually look for the inside beauty anymore. When you do find something about yourself that makes you a more confident person it seems like there is someone right behind you to crush it in some way.
I wish I knew all the answers to all my questions, and I wish more people would start being real and thinking from other peoples points of view. STOP HATING!
Lately, I have spent a lot of time asking myself a whole lot of questions that all go unanswered. Most people think a lot about their future and where they want to go in life. It wasn't that long ago, I thought I knew. However, that dream, that was a reality for a short time, is no longer there. So now things in my head make me wonder what I did to make it the way it is now, and how to deal with it seems harder than ever.
I know that I am not the only one that wonders what purpose it is they serve in this complicated world. I sort of thought that I had figured that out as well, but it's not so. SO now what. Basically when you get down to it all, you start to wonder where you wanna go and what you wanna do forever. When will you find what and who you are.
It's hard to not know who you are suppose to be. I know that I would rather have one person love me for who I really am, than have everyone love me for who I am not. At the same time, if you are to kind, you become a welcome mat very easily. If your to mean, no one likes you or pretends to, and that's no fun either. So where is the balance? No, I am not looking to please everyone. There are people that I KNOW use me, and I still answer the phone when they call. Knowing full well that they only want something. More times than not, I am actually alright with that,because in the end, I still helped someone and to me that gives me satisfaction in knowing that I made even a small difference. Other times, I wind up getting mad at my own self, wondering why it is I continue to do it, when I know that the out-come will never change. It's a lot like smashing your face into the nearest wall over and over again. You know how it's going to feel, and yet you keep doing it. Clearly not the smartest thing in the world.
Sometimes, it's harder than you think to find out who the REAL people in your life are. Sometimes, all it takes is needing a little help or a small event in life for people to show you their true colors. Other times it's a lot more complicated than that. Sometimes, it seems they just stop caring, replace you(because they really never cared in the first place), or were fake from the start. Either way is always going to be hurtful. It's only those that never really cared that it doesn't hurt. That seems to hurt the most. Thinking you were SO important to someone and then WHAM..... HAHA just kidding! REALLY?!?!
I have gotten really good at hiding how I feel about things, and hiding my emotions, but that doesn't mean that I don't have them. Doesn't mean that they are not there, and it doesn't mean that I am not always dealing with them. Fighting with them. I don't cry in front of people very often. I don't know why. I don't want people to feel obligated to try and help me...or think that they are this really awkward situation that makes them not know what to do I guess. On the other end, It doesn't bother me at all when people cry in front of me. I don't always know what to do about it, but usually instinct helps me know the things to say and the things to do. Aside from that, when I say it, i mean it. It wasn't something I said to make you stop crying or hurting. Sometimes I have a hard time believing that people are telling me what they really think, and just trying to make me shut the hell up already.
What I keep coming back to is that I have trust issues. Like everyone else, im tired of getting burned by people. There is really only 2 people that know the majority of things in my life and how I REALLY feel about them. Now when others ask, I don't lie to them, I just dance around it and smile, or change the subject. It's easier that way. To many people knowing all of me scares me. Because, what I was or did 2,3,4,5 years ago is not who I am now. Too many people are quick to judge. I am usually willing to share my stories when someone I know is going through something similar, but not just outta the blue. If that makes any sense.
Do you ever look at someone that you are friends with and wonder how "THIS" friendship will end? I do sometimes. Or look at them and wonder what they "WANT" from you? I do that too. No i don't sit around and plot how to end friendships. Just seems like so many come and go and you can't help but wonder if you just drift apart or if it'll be a grand departure with drama and all. I can't blame everyone for all this either. I know that I have caused my share of drama, and I know that I have not always been great at keeping in touch, and more than once I have not been the greatest friend to some. I'm in NO WAY an angel! Anyone who knows me, knows this is a FACT!
I am starting to learn that a REAL TRUE HONEST friend, will always be there when you call, pick you up when you fall, encourage you to do things even you don't think you can do, check on you often to see how you are and what's been going on, will listen to your feelings, and take out all the time needed to help you when times are tough for you. THOSE are the ones that you hold on to. I know I can count on one hand how many of those I have. Doesn't mean that I don't like my other friends to. I just have a hard time trusting people. I mean in reality I live in an army community and someone somewhere always seems to have something to say. Including me, I have had my own opinions of people around me as well. I AM HUMAN TOO!
I just don't want to loose the real ones that I have, and I need them to know that I am here for them just as much as they have been there for me too! I know there will come a time when we all leave Kansas and make new friends. It's those few people though that no matter what, will have a VERY close place in my heart, and those are the people that I will still talk to as often as possible. I will still listen to all their problems, it will just be harder than walking down the street. Finding people like that to have in your life is hard enough. You could spent the rest of your life looking for more people like that. So why not do your best to hold onto the ones that you have now?
Lately my brain just doesn't stop and I could go back and forth all day and night wondering how things messed up so bad, why I feel like I do, why I do the things I do, why people act the way they do, what in life i did to deserve some of the things I have had to go through, how I can fix certain things, what to say to certain people, and even what I wanna be when I grow up. My brain lately just keeps going and going and now I think it needs a shut off switch. Lucky for me they have prescribed me the lortab for my muscle and joint pain, to help me sleep. That stuff somewhat shuts my brain off. I lay and think for awhile, and then just passout. I know there are things that i will never know the answer to and, when I know how, I will deal with them one by one.
Being strong is not at all easy, and it's not something that I can do all the time, but when being strong is your only option, you learn to do it the best you can. No matter how you look at it, I am still a female, I still have emotions. I am still human and have feelings, and just because I come from a place where the girls hunt, fish, 4wheel, and drive trucks in mud, doesn't change that I am still a girl. I still hurt like any other girl would.... We all just deal with things differently.
People are quick to realize that girls (most def. the younger ones) think that they have to be the most beautiful thing on the outside. It's because of the magazines, and television that they think that way. It's not often that you can find someone that will tell you beauty is on the inside. Even if that's true, it seems like less and less people actually look for the inside beauty anymore. When you do find something about yourself that makes you a more confident person it seems like there is someone right behind you to crush it in some way.
I wish I knew all the answers to all my questions, and I wish more people would start being real and thinking from other peoples points of view. STOP HATING!
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