Writing is not a strong point for me, but I like to do it. It helps me to let things out, and helps other understand me a little more. I have a tendency to hide behind laughter and smiles, but that's not always how I actually feel. I'm actually better at faking my feelings than I am at writing. Sometimes though, no matter how bad I want to say something, I can't find the words. I write and erase and write and erase a thousand times. I can usually make people laugh when they are hurting and I can generally do the same thing for myself. This is all something that my husband taught me.
These last 5.5 months has been rough. I have learned a lot of things about myself. Like how 5.5 months ago, a trip to the store was just that. I'd kiss the kids and be on my way. A quick trip was just that. I ran in and got out with the things that I needed sometimes in just minutes. When I had to kiss my soldier good-bye, that all went out the window. I quick trip is now normally all morning. If I go in the store and forget something, I am praying that it is nothing to important because there is no way that I plan to go back in twice. Believe me that has happened on more than one occasion, and it sucks just as much each time. As I sometimes mumble under my breathe, I sometimes forget how lucky I am.
Yeah I have to go back into the store again, and fight with the kids about how I am not buying the whole store! No matter how COOL a toy looks now, it's never that COOL three days later. In one to three months it's going to be in a dark corner forgotten about and I'll end throwing it away at some point in the near future. All of that fight and struggle seems so petty when you look at the bigger picture. At the time though its the worst thing that you have to do.
However on the 4TH of July, along with everyday, some of us forget the whole reason the world is as free as it is. We forget why people from other countries would kill to come here. We forget that no matter what go through on a day to day basis, there is always someone going through something more. We sometimes take to much time and effort worrying about ourselves, that we forget the big picture. Though I never forget what others are going through, I tend to complain about little things. Some things to me seem like the end of the world.
Today is a day to remember that your life is not as bad as it seems to be. There are soldiers that can not be home this year, and others who gave it all and will never be able to come home. I know this year is hard for me, but as I said there are others that said good-bye to their soldiers forever. Though I can not predict the future, I know that right now, I have a man who loves me, and he is a wonderful daddy and a great husband. He may not be able to be here, but I know that he would do anything to come home and have to take the kids into the store 500 times if he needs to. I know that he would do anything to come home and sleep in his bed, to eat anything he wants out of the fridge, and to deal with all those crappy things that I have to deal with and complain about a lot.
I know that he is scared there, and I know that he wants to come home. I know this because he tells me. I know that I tell him all the time in all kinds of ways, that he is a hero. No matter how many times I say something to him, he has to believe it though. He is not alone. He is not the only one missing home, and he is not the only brave person there fighting for our freedom. What he is doing is a great thing. He worries that the kids will be mad at him and resent him for leaving so long. Maybe, no one can say what those little minds think. Right now, I know that they love him and miss him. I don't know what will happen when he comes home, but when they are older they will always look up to him, and he will always be their hero. Those kids will have a daddy to be SOOOOO Proud of.
I give thanks to all of those men and women out there that are sacrificing it all to do what they do. It's not for everyone, it takes a strong brave person to do what they do. Sometimes I think that those soldiers and marines just go about their days not even realizing how important they are to their families and to all those citizens of the United States. They are all important. Those of the past and the present, and those that want to be a part of it all. Those who are giving some and those that gave it all. And for the families that stay in the back and pray for them each and every day. You are all part of something more than you know, and you are all more important than you may think. Today of all days, please thank a service member both past and present and keep those over seas in your prayers all the time. The next time something in your day goes wrong think about all that you have, and be proud. Proud to be an AMERICAN
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