Yeah I am still here.....

Yeah I know I have just kind of disappeared for awhile. You all wanna know something though? I'm still here, 100+ days after the day he left, I am still mostly in one piece. SO guess what people, though it may feel like your just going to melt away in a puddle of nothing when he leaves, I am living proof that it's just not true.
Though I will say I have a few things that I wanna say tonight. Topic 1. this whole Osama thing. Yeah, you all knew it was coming didn't you. Well the first thing I think about it is that it finally got all the attention of Will and Kate LOL. I know it was a happy time and every girl wants to be a princess, but that was an overload. The sad part is OSAMA took that attention away from them. I want to first say that I am proud to be an American. I know that I am safe here and I sleep in peace knowing this. I am SOOOO proud of the men that were able to pull off this operation. Though his death is a great thing, why do I feel like people are forgetting what else can happen at this time. I feel like people forget there are so many men and woman still in their country at this time. If we just pissed off the wrong people then they may try something else to all the wonderful Americans they have access to. I know there is no perfect ending to this whole thing. I just don't feel much like it's time to celebrate just yet. NO I'm not a selfish person, I know that this brought peace to many families that lost someone on 9/11 and the families that lost a loved one fighting since that day. I am happy for them. The more i think about what and how to say all that I want to, I don't know there is way that others will understand. I;m just worried is all. I feel like were still not at the end, just in the middle at this time. The danger of this scares me right now.
Topic 2. OH MAN I want this deployment to be done..... only like forever left. I can't wait till like the half way point at least. I don't think I will be happy till R&R is over. I know that saying good-bye again is going to be so hard and more so for the kids. I hate to have to send him off again. I also want it to be known that at the same time, though this may sound bad, I do not mean it that way, but I want to soak up this deployment. I know that sounds just dumb. AND now your like WTF is she talking about. It's apparent that I miss my soldier and that I want him home, but since I know that day is not coming anytime soon, I want to learn and grow as much as I can before he comes home. Most of all, I know that when he comes home many of us will have to leave this post and move on with lives back home or somewhere else in the military. We can't stay here forever. I was happy to come to this post and meet new people. As I learned the ropes of an Army Wife, I saw all these many wonderful things. Deep down I know that all things must come to an end, but I just don't think about that as much as all the good things. I'm just not at all ready to even think about good-bye. No matter where we go in our military career, or even if we get out, this will always be my real army family. There is no other group like this one, and I know that already. These will be the group that I always miss. The one I will think about 30 years from now when I think about my Army life and the people I met. The ones I WILL never forget. So I hope that we all can get out and have as much fun as possible till all the guys are home safe.
The 3rd topic:
Is not really a topic as it is a lesson. SO, You know when someone is going through a rough time, and you feel all these things for those people. You want to reach out and help them in any way that you can? Oh come on I know you all reading this are not cold hearted people, you know what I mean. You hurt for them, and you wonder what might just put a smile on their face even for a second. So then you think about something even small that you can do for those people, but then you decide not to because you think it's dumb, or that they won't care, or that it may hurt them more than make them better..... I've been there as well. More than one time. Most that know me though know that I have to help, that's who I am. Well, this one time, (I won't get into the exact detail) I knew a family that lost a loved one. Someone that I also knew pretty well. When I was thinking about what I could do I wrote them a letter. I cant even tell you now what that letter even said. I just knew it explained how I knew the one they lost and what that person meant to me. I never heard anything back. I kind of forgot about the letter until tonight. Until a family member found me and thanked me for it and asked me to keep in touch. She let me know what it all meant to her family. THAT was like the highlight of my day. (and that's saying a lot since I finally got my tabs and plates from Minnesota and can now drive the truck I am paying for LOL) Seriously though, I am proud of what I did that day like 8 years ago. From now on when I want to do something nice or helpful for someone, I am no longer going to second guess myself. I really hope this is a lesson for all of you as well. Even the smallest thing can make the biggest difference. I've made a small mark on this family for 8 whole years. Over the smallest gesture, that at the time I though was nothing. With that said, I am happy for the things I did that day, I am estatic that I mailed that letter and I am grateful that even though it was hard, it was in a way helpful....
I also learned something else today. I will never neglect my blog this long again. Because this is just too much in one blog LOL. So I'll be back soon... yeah that's right people HIDE