Day 18.... TOUCH

I know that it has been awhile since I last posted. Not that I have not wanted to. There was just nothing going on. I have spend the last 3 nights online at night with my husband. Its been great. I have gotten to get some pictures of him on there and he had been able to get some that i send him. That way when and if he ends up with no internet in the near future, he has those saved on his computer to still look at for now.
You know so many said that nights were the hardest, and i was like why!!! Now i get that most often they are at work during the day so you are not used to him here. But I normally do the dinner thing, and then we put the kids to bed, and watch some tv, and then when we go to bed, he faces the other way and I watch tv. He turns so the light does not bother him from the tv. These people were not kidding, but were wrong about the night time. It's not that I only miss him at night time, I just think about it more at night. I think about how long I have to make it before he can hold my hand, kiss me, hug me.... Hearing he loves me is a great feeling. Don't get me wrong, I embrace the internet and the time I have had with him online. To me though, hearing he loves me is just not the same without a kiss.
It's not the same at night to fight over the covers, or spend the first half of my morning cleaning up the pt's that are in a trail from the door through the kitchen and up the stairs. We are slowly adjusting. The thing about a year deployment, is it is way to long to try and stay in the same routine, and it's not forever so once i get this new routine, he will come home and I will have try to get back to the old ways. It's going to be difficult. This is all part of this life. I think knowing that some people could not do this is enough to be proud of myself already. Not just me, but the great friends I have. They are all doing a great job! I think we have all had the bad days, and we have all had amazing days that include a 3 am phone call, letter, picture, or internet chat.
I can not imagine going through a deployment and never getting anything more then a letter every three months. Like in the old days, those wives of veterans are more than super wives. I can not even imagine how those woman kept from having mental breakdowns. They had much less then we do now, the communication was none, and the money was not great either. (not like it is a fortune now, but it's enough to get us through.)
So, I think more than anything its the physical touch that is just really hard to deal with. Along with the saftey of not just my soldier, but the friends me and Dave have made who went along with him. We pray for the safe return of them and think about them all day !!!! I love you David :)