Invisible.....Vanished

I can not tell you have many times, I have read or seen something that made me think "WOW, that person is so depressing!" Today I am that person. I do not think there is person in this world that can make me smile right now. The one person that can is not even here. It's weird. I am just crabby and irritable. I feel like I am the only person in this world. I feel like there is no one else that is here...aside from the kids that are pretty hard to ignore.
I guess you could say I feel like I am invisible to everyone. I don't like it. I don't like this sitting around doing nothing, and I certainly do not like anyone right now. Why? I don't know. I am beyond irritated with people who lay next to the ones that they love every night... but complain when they are gone a week. Now I know that used to be me.... but it's different for me now. (and I am well aware that the world is not about me, but I can have my moments too!) I know that this is the life that we choose. I am willing to deal with that. It's not even that, and I can not even say that this "rant" is any ones fault in particular. I just want to be mad I guess. I have nothing better to do! I can't make up my mind. I want to be alone, but not really. I want to hate everything, but not really. I want to go to bed, but not really. I want someone to come to my house and have a drink, but not really. I want to work out, but not really. I want a damn Peanut Butter and Jelly.... BUT NOT REALLY.
I guess I want to miss the one that I love! I want to see his face, or hear is voice. I want him to kiss me good-night, and tuck my kids in. I want him to come shopping with me, and work out with me.
I just want to be mad at the world right now.... Hopefully I can let it all out, and be done with it. I hope that everyone can let it all out and be done with it. Because if I did this everyday, I would be the most LAME person in the world, and probably and alcoholic too! So there it is, my rant!!!!